Gone to America

Frequently Asked Questions

These are the questions I have been asked most frequently since I announced my intention to emigrate, give or take. I thought it would be convenient to have all the answers in one location, accessible by all, so that I could point people to them. If people keep asking me questions that aren’t here, then I’ll add them. I am aware the some people ask questions not so much to get the answers, but in order to engage in something called “conversation”. I will endeavour to accommodate these people as best I can.

• Q: Who the Hell do you think you are?
• A. Check out the biographical note.

• Q:What the Hell is a “Blog”?
• A. It’s short for “web log”. There’s a pretty full definition here. It’s basically a public, online diary. I was using the service Blogger, then I moved up to Movable Type, and now I’m using WordPress, which is geekier still. I’m actually using it to manage pretty much the whole site now. Or, at least, that’s the plan.

• Q: So, you’re really going to America?
• A: Yes. Yes I am. In fact, I have really gone to America.

• Q: Whereabouts?
• A: New York.

• Q: Why New York?
• A: I just really liked it when I went there on holiday back in May 2001. I was up in the WTC and everything!

• Q: But you work in the film industry, don’t you? Why don’t you go to LA or San Francisco?
• A: Well, I’m not really going in order to further my career, but to do new stuff, and things. Change of scenery. I do know more people in LA and San Francisco, but New York was the place I really wanted to go back to. This may be a bad idea. Time will tell. (UPDATE: Time has told to some degree. I haven’t really found much work, but I love it. How do you like them apples?)

• Q: When did you leave?
• A: I left the Emerald Isle on October 3rd, 2003.

• Q: Are you ever coming back?
• A: Yeah. When I run out of money or Christmas, whichever comes first. Beyond that, I have no plans. The wind bloweth where it listeth, or somesuch.

• Q: But you said you’d do my short! Who’s going to do my short?
• A: Hey, I promised nothing. I said I’d do it if I could, and I can’t. That’s just the way it goes sometimes. Try contacting Ardmore Sound.

• Q: What are you doing with your car?
• A: It’s for sale! Why don’t you contact me about buying it?

• Q: So how in the hell did you get a Green Card, you lucky, lucky bastard?
• A: The DV2003 lottery. I applied back in October 2001, and forgot all about it. Then it came through, and I had to arrange all sorts of paperwork and stuff. I did my interview with the Consul on Thursday the 26th of June, and got it.

• Q: So the interview went well?
• A: Don’t ask.

• Q: It’s not much of an FAQ if you don’t actually answer the questions that are most frequently asked.
• A: That’s not a question, that’s a comment. Ask a question.

• Q: That was all very sudden, wasn’t it? I mean, you hadn’t been planning this for ages, had you?
• A: Yes it was, and no, I hadn’t. When I applied for “the Card”, I naively thought that it would enable me to live in Ireland and come to work in America whenever the industry slows down there. It doesn’t really do that, as I now know. If you’re not actually living in America full time, they can take it away from you. I could do various things to try and prove I was living in the States while not, but that’s a dangerous game. (That’s dangerous in the sense that I could have “the Card” taken away, and not actually physically dangerous). Once I realised this, my initial reaction was to just forget the whole thing, and stay in Ireland, where almost everybody I know is, and where I have a career of sorts. I then changed my mind.

• Q:What caused this change of mind?
• A: Various things. The thought that there were 6.2 million valid applications, and just 50,000 visas given out. 288 in Ireland. Hmmm. This might not come my way again. I’d really have regretted just letting it go, without having at least tried. And hey, maybe it was just time for a change.

• Q: Hey, I know somebody in New York. Would you like their number?
• A: Yeah, sure, all the help I can get. Cheers. Email me.

And the most frequently asked question of all:

• Q: Can I come and stay with you?
• A: Sure – it depends how you feel about floors. Bring beer.