Gone to America

Monday 03rd of January 2005

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The Year is New, and will hopefully be a Happy one!

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, posted by Anthony during lunch time.

I’m not really a fan of New Year’s Eve as a celebration. It’s invariably a disappointment. Amazingly, it’s always so disappointing that even though I expect to be disappointed, I end up being being even more disappointed than that. It’s something to do with a poor mental attitude. I’ve been to parties on New Year’s Eve that on any other night I would have considered great, but for some reason didn’t then. Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a party that I would have considered adequate for New Year’s. That’s just silly – I’ve been to some kick-ass parties.

I’ve tried to understand this. One theory is that it’s just New Year’s Eve in Dublin that’s disappointing. I formed this view after having the best New Year’s ever in 1994, in Paris, with three friends – Dean, Shea and Johannes. That was so cool. Everybody was on the streets, there was Champagne and fireworks, cheering, pretty French girls kissing anybody, people from all over Europe hanging out, sharing their local alcohol with complete strangers (we had a bottle of Jameson, and ended up drinking quite a lot of Slovenian Schnapps from an unmarked bottle). It was brilliant. The next day, I had the worst hangover that I have ever had.

Nothing ever lived up to that. Afterwards, I tried to avoid the whole thing by just staying at home with my parents on the big night, reasoning that zero expectation would equal zero diappointment. That was the worst of all. I was fine up until the countdown, then I was hit by a suppurating wave of depression. It was as if someone had injected a massive of dose of black despair into the center of my brain. It spread quickly, spilling out my eyes and my fingertips. How pathetic was I? My parents at least had each other to hang out with, but I had nobody, no friends or anything!

This wasn’t strictly true, of course, but that’s how I felt. Why did I care so much? Anyway, after that I went back to just going along to whatever random party came around, choosing disappointment over depression. I was usually so desperate to escape the shackles of myself that I would drink way too much and just end up vomiting – in a garden, a bed, wherever.

I hoped that being in New York would help break this cycle – unfortunately, last year, though initially positive, was inconclusive, due to my having flown from Dublin the same day and being somewhat wiped out – I was practically asleep by 11 PM. I was hoping to try again, again seeing in the year with Lisa and Julian at their party, but this time having cunningly flown a day earlier to give myself a fighting chance of watching the ball drop without having to prop open my eyes.

But that didn’t happen. I’d moved my flight, and I’ll be here until the 24th of January so I can do a bit of sound effects editing on Boy Eats Girl. Oh, no! What to do? I had been invited to a few celebrations, but I was afraid – afraid of disappointment.

I called around to my friend Ivan flat in Dun Laoghaire. He was of much the same mind as myself. Nigel came along, and tried to make us go to a pub or a prty, but we soon convinced him of the folly of this idea, and the three of us sat around drinking and talking crap. It was brilliant. We even missed midnight! We didn’t notice until a bit after that the year had rolled over, which was beautiful. I tried to send a few txt messages, but the seeming failure of 02s network to handle the overload of everybody in Ireland having the same idea put paid to that. We kept drinking.

So, that was the solution. It’s not a question of zero expectation, it’s a question of predictable and achievable expectation. I’ve sat around with Ivan and Nigel talking crap while drinking many times. It’s always enjoyable, and comfortingly familiar. Perfect. Hello, 2005!

I do still hope to be in New York for next year, though.

I’m still enjoying my time in Dublin, even though the bus fares have just gone up and the limitations of the whole public transport system are really starting to grate (why not 24 hours? Why?). Once I realised my stay would be extended I eased off on the meeting people thing, so there are still quite a few people I haven’t properly caught up with yet. I did meet Mary Mullan, who I hadn’t laid eyes on for about seven years, so that was cool. She’s back in London now – ah, the Diaspora. Hopefully I’ll see most other people before I start work next Monday, but if not there’ll still be time.

Happy New Year, everybody!

Comments on "The Year is New, and will hopefully be a Happy one!"

Comment ID: 2302
At 7:39 pm on Monday 03rd of January 2005, Nigel realised it was important that we all should understand

I have had a few enjoyable ones. 2000 in Melbourne was good fun. I had a good time a year ago in London. Hmmm … I’m backing up your Dublin is crap theories again. Maybe it is?

I now realise why you were so resistant to the idea of going to the pub for a drink or two that evening. Come on, it could have been fun! After all, the three of us have decided that we prefer American, French, English etc. etc. women to their Irish counterparts as they are vastly more appreciative of our charms so we wouldn’t even have wasted our time trying to chat anybody up. Unless, of course, they hailed from those more advanced cultures.

But overall it was a good one. I didn’t even have a nasty hangover the next day. You didn’t mention that poorly driven bus though.
Comment ID: 2303
At 7:51 pm on Monday 03rd of January 2005, Anthony channelled

Oh yeah, the bus… Well, you should mention it in your blog, then. Along with your coincidence.
Comment ID: 2304
At 11:50 am on Tuesday 04th of January 2005, Babs realised it was important that we all should understand

That’s the bad thing about NYC, ya know. We get spoiled by 24 hour a day public transportation (even if it IS crap).

And you 2 should consider yourselves lucky. I was stuck with Ma, Felix, and Manson on NYE.

Oh the humanity!
Comment ID: 2306
At 1:37 pm on Tuesday 04th of January 2005, Anthony stated

It’s not crap, that’s the thing. Only people who have never been to Dublin could ever think it was crap. It’s cheap and comprehensive.
Comment ID: 2308
At 12:59 am on Wednesday 05th of January 2005, Ella testified

Ahhhh…..That sounds so sad.

Don’t beat yourself up to much. Your life is by far more exciting than mine any day.

Dublin sounds like a beautiful faerie land.

My father and mother in law take a sabatical there once a year. I wish they would take me!

And NYC is a pretty magical place too for this hillbilly girl.

I hope this new year finds you happy and healthy.
Comment ID: 2309
At 10:41 am on Wednesday 05th of January 2005, Anthony started typing, with this result

I didn’t mean it to sound sad – I deliberately ended on an upbeat note!

And believe me – Dublin may have it’s good points, but it’s not a beautiful faerie land. Too much heroin abuse for that.
Comment ID: 2310
At 10:11 pm on Wednesday 05th of January 2005, Ella wanted everyone to know

Maybe I’ll try that statement again. Ah hum.

Ireland looks like a beautiful faerie land. All of the photographs that my in-laws bring back are of lush and green country sides.

I guess they wouldn’t have an urge to take pictures of crack shacks and methadone clinics.
Comment ID: 2311
At 12:16 pm on Thursday 06th of January 2005, Anthony asserted

But why not?
I guess my international jet setting life is fairly exciting, but I wouldn’t mind a nubbin of financial security to go with it!