Sunday 18th 2006f June 2006
« « Flux| Summer Rain » »House for Sale
This will be short. I was at Ian’s bachelor party yesterday and it was extensive, so I’m not really thinking in joined up sentences. We started out at a firing range, where we each took .22 calibre rifles and fired about a hundred bullets into some defenceless pieces of paper. We sure showed them. This was pretty fun, although I was a little taken aback by the culture of the firing range. They seemed like nice guys, but there were some very interesting conversations taking place and many informative pamphlets lying about. I’m about to go and invest in some Liberty Dollars.
After that we had a meal, then went to a bar, and then went to other places that are not appropriate for discussion on a family blog. All in all it was a very satisfactory bachelor party. The wedding is next weekend. I’m pretty sure my suit still fits, although I’ll have to get it drycleaned.
Other news comes from Dublin. My parents have put their house on the market. This is where I lived from the ages of 11 to 25 or 26 (I can’t quite remember when I moved out). Yes, this €2.5 Million house is the same one my Dad referred to in a comment as a dismal, windswept hovel. A part of this move is the selling of my Smart Car. Apparently somebody has offered €500 for it, so if you want to make a better offer let me know. It doesn’t exactly run any more, but I’m sure it would be useful for something.
Just one more thing, then I’m going to eat something and veg out foir the rest of the day. Could I please draw everybody’s attention to the very fine and useful www.snopes.com? It’s a site dedicated to debunking (or confirming) urban myths through research. It has a very useful section that is kept extremely up to date dealing with email hoaxes. I want to mention this because it sems like well meaning people have been forwarding me a lot of useless petitions and false missing child reports recently. I always check them on Snopes using the handy search function, and they always come up as out of date or false or otherwise a waste of time.
Please, the next time you’re about to forward that petition to your entire address book, stop and check Snopes first. You are probably just creating spam. If you find an article on Snopes about the email you’ve received, why not send the link back to the person who sent you the email kindly suggesting that they might like to check Snopes in future, rather than killing email? Together we can stop me having to wade through these things.
Thank you.
Comment ID: 11244
At 3:16 am on Monday 19th 2006f June 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones opinedSo, it’s finally come to that has it? Your poor dear parents forced to leave their humble abode. That small mud hut of a cottage down there in the Ranelagh come Donnybrook ghetto.
What was it this time eh young Master Anthony? What was the straw that broke the faithful camel’s back? Was it another laptop? Another highly expensive sports car? (All be it small, automatic, left hand drive and the size of a shopping trolley!) Another flight home from the land of plenty? Or just your exsorbarint….exsourhborahainious…. exuberent…damn it!..... your fecking huge drugs habit! (There, I’ve said it!)
And now, after all they’ve done for you, sacrificed everything, it’s all over. Onto the streets and into a poorhouse somewhere, all be it in leafey Ballsbridge or a squalid penthouse in Kill-ein-ay!
Those poor souls. Well, Anthony, you may not care, but I sure as hell do! Mr & Mrs Litton, when the Baliff’s at the door, I’ll be there to help you. You can come stay with me and my German lady friend as long as it takes to move into the new pad where ever it is. Heck, (Yes, heck), we’ll even help you look for somewhere new. Sure it’ll be tough going to all those plush high society auctions with the free champagne and caviar and what not, but chin up! We’ll do it together. And if it comes to it, we’ll even look after the new pool house for you… For Free!!!! Although, I may need to borrow the new Jag to commute to work don’t you see. (A word on that by the way, Mr. Litton… trade in that little Smart and I’ll direct you to a good deal on the new XJ model. Not as good as a Porsche, but perfect for your understated class. And a nice hit with the ladies too so I’m told.) All in all, a step down I know, but having stood by your prodigal son for so long I feel it’s only right that we should stand by you.
Stay strong. Stefanie will pop around soon with some Bratwurst soup and brochen to keep you going for a few days more. (And some Schnapps too, afterall, these are tough times.)
Yours Faithfully,
D
Comment ID: 11245
At 3:20 am on Monday 19th 2006f June 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones assertedPS Anthony, the whole Gun club thing sounds tres scar-ay! Hope you’re not now sporting a trucker cap and gobbing tobacco out the side of yer gap!
Guns though eh!!!! Mad wha’!!!! Just like Dublin!
Comment ID: 11352
At 7:10 am on Tuesday 20th 2006f June 2006, Zaini felt the urge to writeYour car has to be worth more than that. http://cars.iol.ie/usedcars/index.cfm?fuseaction=Car&carID=297576&message=You%20searched%20for%3A%20Smart%20City%2DCoupe%2E%20Your%20search%20returned%20one%20vehicle%2C%20which%20is%20shown%20below%2E&CFID=4229674&CFTOKEN=93137846
Comment ID: 11353
At 7:57 am on Tuesday 20th 2006f June 2006, Daragh opinedAnto – Michael Lemass called in yesterday, and he says hi!
Comment ID: 11477
At 10:05 am on Wednesday 21st 2006f June 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones impartedGo here, it’s bleeding deadly!!! (OK, it’s free advertising for a shite car but bleeding deadly nonetheless!)
http://www.107.peugeot.co.uk/peugeot.swf
Comment ID: 11897
At 3:26 am on Monday 26th 2006f June 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones blurtedDamnit!!!!
I got ENG-ER-LAND in the work World Cup Draw!!!! I’d pay to see them lose!
Comment ID: 11960
At 3:41 am on Tuesday 27th 2006f June 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones blurtedAnthony, thankyou for sending me Daragh’s email. However, as knowone else seems to be interested in keeping your blog alive I will endheavour to do so myslef by channelling ALL my personal correspondence through your site. That includes day to day rnuning things etc as well as emails to Daragh. And texts too. Thankyou
Comment ID: 11973
At 4:59 am on Tuesday 27th 2006f June 2006, Daragh statedSwiss roll! – thank God they’re out of the World Cup- jez they were boring to watch.
Come on Ghana!
Comment ID: 11975
At 5:17 am on Tuesday 27th 2006f June 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones postedNothin new from those boring shites! In any ways, was very difficult to cheer them on. “UP THE SWISS” did’nt exactly have a nice ring to it! So c’mon Deutchland!!!!! Cha-cha-chaaaaaaaaaaa
And France of course….. Vive Les Frenchies!!!
Comment ID: 12081
At 5:42 am on Wednesday 28th 2006f June 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones was compelled to shareGreat new about Zaini eh!
Comment ID: 12379
At 3:22 am on Friday 30th 2006f June 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones assertedTRY THIS EVERYONE, ONE AND ALL!!!!!!!!!
ANTHONY’S NEW BLOG CAST!
Here’s the real Low down, straight from the horses mouth. The big cheese, with the big squeeze! And remember folks, you heard it here, first, strictly confidential, on the QT, and Very, HUSH HUSH!
Just click the link for Anthony’s important words of wisdom…...
http://www.oddcast.com/sitepal/?ss=417231&sl=679465&acc=15695
Comment ID: 12489
At 11:21 pm on Friday 30th 2006f June 2006, Babs was compelled to shareSomeone needs to teach pally how to say Hoboken, me thinks.
Also—anyone got 2.5 mil they can lend me??
Comment ID: 12683
At 3:38 am on Monday 03rd 2006f July 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones channelledYer, Roight!
look now what our amazing Anthony’s been up to! ........ Some may find this shocking!
http://anthony.litton.wasarrested.com/S-NY/New+York/ps
Comment ID: 12881
At 8:22 pm on Tuesday 04th 2006f July 2006, elenamary assertedDear lord! Is your father single (or looking for a new wife) I think he might be that man I am looking for. You know the one that will provide me the lifestyle to which I hope to become accustomed to.
Comment ID: 12953
At 4:50 pm on Wednesday 05th 2006f July 2006, elenamary typedThis is realeted both to your entry and my comment…kind of.
I was invited to a good friend of mine’s bachelor party. It was a bunch of men except for me and one other girl (my boyfriend at the time went too). A portion of the night included time at a “shake joint”. The ladies at the “Shake Joint” made me feel very beautiful even though it was very anti-feminst in my part to feel beautiful by degreading them and comparing but oh I did compare. My breasts were bigger than most of theirs and mine are natural! Plus those that were natural swung down so low I began to understand the phrase knee knockers. Speaking of knee knockers when the women walked away their labias were droopy. Seriously, droopy, like stretched out. I didn’t know labias could do that. As they would walk away I could see the labias swing a little. Man, I felt beautiful, nothing on my body swings lower than it did once developed. Ahh to be young and beautiful and humble, that’s me!
Comment ID: 12973
At 9:19 pm on Wednesday 05th 2006f July 2006, Anthony channelledOh God, please stop.
Comment ID: 12990
At 4:16 am on Thursday 06th 2006f July 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones declaredWhat the hell is going on!!!!
Anthony, set up a window for Private Comment Chat rooms fer fecks sakes!!! I think we just crossed the line there. But lines are meant to be crossed Elenamary! I’m going to your Blog from now on!! Lets here it for Elenamary and freedom of speech!
Comment ID: 13072
At 5:45 pm on Thursday 06th 2006f July 2006, elenamary felt the urge to writeThanks Skeezerbag! Anthony come on now, you haven’t ever seen a swinging labia? Or at least one dripping with an open sore? Okay, I guess now I’ve crossed the line =P
Comment ID: 13096
At 12:52 am on Friday 07th 2006f July 2006, Babs channelledGah!!
Comment ID: 13098
At 3:09 am on Friday 07th 2006f July 2006, Skeezbag Dirty Bones attestedGross Woman! Gross!!!!! Discussing friction burns in public is defo crossing zee line. But if you wish to discuss the matter in one of Anthony’s private chat rooms, which I assure you he may well set up after this post, then my email is with him and he’d be delighted to pass on the details.
PS: There’s always Vaseline!
Comment ID: 13099
At 3:58 am on Friday 07th 2006f July 2006, Pendulum attestedWell thats a first, talkin about flaps, classy lady!
You’ve met your match Dean!
Comment ID: 13181
At 8:37 pm on Friday 07th 2006f July 2006, elenamary was inspired to addSkeezbag Dirty Bones, I was refering to herpes not friction burns.
Duh.
Comment ID: 13225
At 12:53 pm on Saturday 08th 2006f July 2006, Anthony announcedWell, that’s ok then.