"Ask Anthony" is a chance for you to avail of my wisdom on a variety of topics.
For example, you could ask me a question about Sound Design, or Sound Editing.
You could ask me about obscure movie trivia (or "Film History" as
I like to call it) or get me to expand on or clarify a specific point in my
Blog.
OK, some rules.
1.
One question at a time.
2. No repeat questions. Answers are final.
3. No references to be made to previous questions
or answers.
4. No statements that do not directly relate to
the question.
5. No chat!
6. No more than two questions in a row from the same person!
Any post
not obeying these rules will be edited or deleted immediately!
There have been 534 questions so far, of wildly varying quality. 200 come from Nigel. That's a whopping 37.45%.
Home
On Sunday 19th of March 2006, 09:09 PM, Ivan asked:
In a country where Bush is elected twice and homophobia runs rampant how can the “voted for by the cinema going public” Spirit award for best actress go to a woman playing a transexual male?
I know. It’s almost as if the population of 300 million people from many diverse cultures backgrounds and cultures was not entirely homogenous.
Whoulda thunk it?
On Sunday 12th of March 2006, 11:44 PM, Babs asked:
Why is the 1 train ALWAYS out of service whenever I need to catch it??
Massive conspiracy. I cannot in conscience say more.
On Monday 06th of March 2006, 06:56 AM, Nigel asked:
I had sixteen litres of coffee this morning. Am I abnormal?
Yes, very. What was that about coffee?
On Thursday 02nd of March 2006, 09:32 AM, Ivan asked:
I have some really nice smelly cheese in the fridge but the whole flat pongs when i take out milk for my tea, do you you know the way to San José?
You would probably have to change in Seattle. Or O’Hare.
On Thursday 02nd of March 2006, 04:44 AM, JIMI, M.A Hons asked:
(drops to the floor)
ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… FIVE… SIX… SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… TEN… ELEVEN… TWELVE… THIRTEEN… FOURTEEN… FIFTEEN… SIXTEEN… SEVENTEEN… EIGHTEEN… NINETEEN… TWENTY! Phew…
The tape, James, where’s the tape?
Another twenty.
On Wednesday 01st of March 2006, 01:13 PM, Anna asked:
I’m glad you didn’t say anything about my drunkenpatheticlightweight attitude to drink in your blog! How’s it goin? ‘Legend of Liam Clancy’ goes out next week. I barely remember you and Conor’s faces I was so fucked. Saw Conor’s boyish wee face in Road to God knows where last night… and then I stumble upon your site googling Liam Clancy + Alan Gilsenan. Hmm. That isnt a question. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU?
Well, I didn’t want to embarrass a lady. I hope Alan is properly revealed through the lens of Liam Clancy. It’s too bad you don’t remember my face – it’s startling.
I’m grand! Yourself?
On Tuesday 28th of February 2006, 08:45 PM, Nigel asked:
When are you going to post some more recipes? Come on, impress us with your burgeoning culinary skills!
I haven’t posted a recipe for over two years. You could take this as a hint.
On Tuesday 28th of February 2006, 06:05 PM, joshua asked:
in the game spiderman the movie can you go to the last level and if you find a pink spidy coin thingy and get a box a girl will come up and take you to her room and you use the controls to have sex it said on a cheat web site thanks
I’m pretty sure that’s a lie.
On Monday 27th of February 2006, 06:34 PM, Nigel asked:
Does anybody else merit a question counter yet? I know my whopping percentage will take some equalling, never mind beating, but surely there are pretenders to my crown who should be acknowledged?
Oh and this is one question masquerading as two.
I was actually thinking of removing the counter. 37.57% isn’t very impressive.
This should not be interpreted as a request for more questions.
On Monday 27th of February 2006, 12:07 PM, JIMI, M.A Hons asked:
(drops to the floor)
ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE... TEN... ELEVEN... TWELVE... THIRTEEN... FOURTEEN... FIFTEEN... SIXTEEN... SEVENTEEN... EIGHTEEN... NINETEEN... TWENTY! Phew… tired now…
Oh, had you broken a rule? There really wasn’t any need to do that here – you could have just sent me a video. As a matter of fact, that wasn’t a question and therefore a breach.
Another twenty, please.
On Sunday 26th of February 2006, 07:46 PM, Nigel asked:
If Jimi were to ever break one or some or all of the rules what would the punishment be?
Just curious.
The standard. He would have to drop and give me twenty. If I noticed.
On Sunday 26th of February 2006, 06:55 PM, JIMI, M.A Hons asked:
What is a ‘gand’. More specifically, what is a ‘street gand’?
It is a cross between a gang and a band. One speaks of “a merry band” and “a marauding gang”. If a group of people is both merry and marauding they can be accurately described as a “gand”. A “street gand” is a group that fulfils the criteria on or near a street.
On Saturday 25th of February 2006, 05:45 PM, Nigel asked:
I have to stay off the booze for about three weeks (48 hours in right now) as part of this Thai hippy boot camp experience. What are my chances?
It’s possible. I did it once after a particularly vigorous Galway Film Fleadh.
On Thursday 23rd of February 2006, 01:39 PM, JIMI, M.A Hons asked:
and if you see Terence Mulligan at the NY Film Fleadh will you tell him James Finlan says “fuck off”?
I’d really appreciate it…
Probably not. But you never know your luck.
On Thursday 23rd of February 2006, 08:53 AM, dave o'sullivan asked:
will you go to my screening at the film fleadh, new york ON FRI NITE 3/10
FOR SHORTS NIGHT GALA? Its called NUN MORE DEADLY.
On Wednesday 22nd of February 2006, 05:26 PM, Nigel asked:
Ever tried this delicious drink?
The Liver Flush recipe:
Into a blender add.extra virgin olive oil- 2 tablespoons or up to a third of a cup, with fresh lemon juice-about 1-2 thirds cup, garlic 3-5cloves, ginger 1-knob, cayenne pepper half gram & top up with freshly squeezed orange juice.
On Wednesday 22nd of February 2006, 09:15 AM, Ivan asked:
Why do babies have hairy faces?
On Wednesday 22nd of February 2006, 02:43 AM, Babs asked:
The only fingernails I can ever get to grow to a decent length are the ones on my ring fingers and my pinkies. Why is this??
Maybe you are genetically predisposed to be a member of a specific street gand. Try driving around South Central LA waving your ring and pinky finger (or “set”) in the air like you just don’t care until a member of a street gang sees you and responds in kind. They will welcome you as one of their own and your new life will begin.
On Monday 20th of February 2006, 07:06 PM, JIMI, M.A Hons asked:
Why is your penis so small?
That is only in comparison to your own mighty appendage.
On Monday 20th of February 2006, 05:27 PM, Nigel asked:
Why does the intro to this section say it’s back when it’s now been back for a very long time? Shouldn’t you just start with the explanation?
On Monday 20th of February 2006, 03:43 AM, Magnus Magnerson asked:
Yea!
I’ve stated so I’ll finish?
Well done. Pat on the head.
On Saturday 18th of February 2006, 01:50 PM, JIMI, M.A Hons asked:
Why haven’t you got around to answering this just yet?
On Friday 17th of February 2006, 10:39 AM, JIMI, M.A Hons asked:
What is a trolley bus, oh he who knows everything?
It is a cross between a bus and a trolley. It has the wheels and carriage of a bus, and is pushed from behind by an usherette like a trolley.
On Wednesday 15th of February 2006, 09:07 PM, Nigel asked:
I know this question might be better asked of Babs but what’s the best (legal) form of revenge against a loathed ex?
And no smart ass answers please. Just ingredients for untraceable poisons etc.
Getting married first – it’s unassailable.
On Wednesday 15th of February 2006, 11:39 AM, D. asked:
Are mickles and muckles the kinds of things that gang oft a gley?
On Sunday 12th of February 2006, 02:06 AM, Babs asked:
I’m surrounded by lunatics. Any suggestions??
On Monday 06th of February 2006, 12:35 PM, Jeanie asked:
I thought it had something to do with farming but then I thought again and decided that it could be some kind of medical term for some kinda disease??...to do with muck…like maybe someone breaking out in some kinda rash cause they’re alergic to it or something…... like…know wata mean??
On Monday 06th of February 2006, 12:28 PM, Jeanie asked:
Rach seems to think it has something to do with the sun and fake tan??
Well, that’s… interesting.
On Monday 06th of February 2006, 12:23 PM, Jeanie + Rach asked:
Anthony what does “every mickle makes a muckle” mean??
Nothing. There is an expression “many a mickle makes a muckle” which I could have elucidated if asked.
On Saturday 04th of February 2006, 08:45 PM, Wondering asked:
Is there a subtle way to inform a particular blogger that they clearly don’t know how to add or should one just whack them in their toothless head with “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Mathematics”?
The pointed comment was effective.
On Friday 03rd of February 2006, 06:55 PM, Babs asked:
What’s a good way to pass time* on long and excruciatingly boring train ride??
*Please only list ones that won’t get me arrested
Reading, sleeping or both. Or staring out the window and descending into a trance like state which will enable you to finally penetrate the veils of reality which enslave us all. Or counting rabbits.
On Monday 30th of January 2006, 12:43 AM, Babs asked:
My niece is forcing me to play on some contraption called a ‘gamecube’. I’ve no idea how to work it, but I have ascertained that gathering ‘jellybeans’ is a good thing while playing the Harry Potter game. Why is this??
It’s too technical – I don’t really have the space here to explain it.
On Sunday 29th of January 2006, 04:50 PM, Douglas Murray asked:
I’m going to be working from March to June in New York at the DuArt building, 245 W 55th Street (at Broadway). The company is paying for my accomodation. Where should I choose to live while in NYC?
Well, that depends. I would say somewhere on the Upper West Side, near the park, not too far up. You’ll be able to take the 1, B or C trains to 59th Street, and if the weather is nice (which it should be) you could walk through the park.
If you’ll want to be eating out a lot and such and you don’t mind a commute you could get a place in the Village. As long as you stick to the west your journey wouldn’t be too problematic.
I would avoid being put in Midtown. It’s hellishly full of tourists during the day and deserted at night. It might be tempting because there are lots of places to stay around there and it would be near DuArt, but resist!
I hope we will have the opportunity to meet at some point.
On Saturday 21st of January 2006, 07:51 PM, Nigel asked:
So have you been having nips of absinthe since your return?
On Thursday 19th of January 2006, 06:27 PM, Babs asked:
During the past week, cops in helicopters have been circling my neighborhood. Are they after me??
On Wednesday 11th of January 2006, 04:04 PM, Ivan asked:
Buggered like the guy in ‘requiem for a dream’? Give him another hit and drop him off in some hospital I say, Anthony?
He should stare down the wound, heal it with the power of his testosterone. That’s what I do.
On Wednesday 11th of January 2006, 11:44 AM, Babs asked:
My brother’s arm is completely buggered, yet he refuses to seek medical care. Why are men such babies when it comes to seeing a quack??
It is manliness. Why, you got a problem?
On Sunday 08th of January 2006, 04:00 PM, daragh asked:
Any chance of seeing the little videos?
If Zaini ever sends them to me.
On Saturday 07th of January 2006, 06:49 AM, Babs asked:
After owning a computer for nearly 7 years, I’ve only just sorted out how to ‘add to playlist’ on the windows mediaplayer thingie. How stupid does this make me??
On Wednesday 04th of January 2006, 02:07 PM, J asked:
If your future sister in law asks you to be her bridesmaid but insists on you wearing top hat and tails what is the appropriate response?
I would begin by questioning her sexuality – get the relationship off on the right foot.
On Tuesday 03rd of January 2006, 03:25 PM, Ivan asked:
That last question is not mine.
Oh, really? Are you sure you’re just not trying to avoid having broken a rule? If so bad job, because you’ve just broken another one by posting a statement.
On Saturday 31st of December 2005, 12:51 AM, Ivan asked:
Absinthe. Are you a man or a mouse?
You were there, you decide.
On Wednesday 21st of December 2005, 12:28 PM, Ivan asked:
My windows are dirty but I live on the 2nd foor on a busy street. What should I do?
On Sunday 18th of December 2005, 04:24 PM, Ivan asked:
Now that you are allergic to NYC do you think maybe you are no longer allergic to Dublin?
Apparently it doesn’t work that way.
On Saturday 17th of December 2005, 02:26 PM, Hortense J. Quagmire asked:
My landlord has had the entry hallway painted a hideous bright magenta. What can I do about this atrocity??
If you wear green sunglasses the hallway will appear black, which would be preferable. Or white. I can’t remember.
Either way, it would be an improvement.
On Wednesday 14th of December 2005, 03:59 AM, Babs asked:
Does the fact that Friday I must traverse into the city for stitch removal up the odds of there being an actual transit strike??
I was pretty sure there wasn’t going to be one until you mentioned this.
Now I’m stockpiling food.
On Wednesday 07th of December 2005, 01:17 AM, Babs asked:
Should I write out my will before Thursday??
See? It would have been a waste of time.
On Wednesday 30th of November 2005, 09:21 PM, Nigel asked:
Hit or stick?
Quick! Quick! I need your advice NOW!
If I had answered in a timely fashion would you have given me a cut?
On Wednesday 30th of November 2005, 12:55 PM, Ivan asked:
I don’t know how you can answer the last question, but perhaps could you delete the link to the killing aides and accessories?
Done. I’ll get to the rest of you at some point. Probably.
On Sunday 27th of November 2005, 09:32 PM, Babs asked:
My dog seems to be fond of wontons with sesame sauce. Is this healthy for her??
On Sunday 27th of November 2005, 07:34 PM, Nigel asked:
Worst tax returns to fill in: Irish or American?
I just hire an accountant, so frankly I don’t actually know.
On Sunday 27th of November 2005, 12:13 PM, christopher Dagostino asked:
what band in the late 60’s or early 70’s wrote the song signs
Lots of bands have a song called “Signs”, apparently. Probably one of them.
On Thursday 24th of November 2005, 10:22 PM, Andrew Bellware asked:
When building an M&E: how close to production effects does one have to get? In other words, if I have some rustling of clothing, some “dings” of silverware and china, and it’s over (usable) dialog, how close does the foley have to match what was on the production effects tracks? Do the Germans just care that there’s a sound in the M&E (like a fork being put down on a plate) when there’s a sound in the English version, or do they really want it to sound exactly like the production effects fork?
Mix the foley in with the production, so that the foley on its own sounds pretty close.
On Sunday 20th of November 2005, 05:26 PM, Nigel asked:
So what are the basic behavioural differences between Americans and Canadians? (Stereotypical, I know, but broad strokes will do. Thank you.)
Canadians say “eh” and are polite and friendly. Americans (well, New Yorkers) are not polite, but they are friendly if you give them a chance and they are much more economically adventurous.
On Saturday 19th of November 2005, 02:53 PM, Andrew Bellware asked:
Do breathing and breath-sounds belong in P-FX? Or are those all re-done by the voiceover artists in each language?
I would say that counts as dialogue. It might be difficult to match.
On Tuesday 15th of November 2005, 07:26 AM, Babs asked:
My sister-in-law has given me her old E-machine. Are said computers any good or are they rife with problems??
They work. It’s probably better than what you have now. I think Julian has one, and it hasn’t crapped out on him.
On Sunday 13th of November 2005, 12:59 PM, Nigel asked:
Why should we bother with you when you have so clearly foresaken us?
Apparently you don’t have much else to do.
On Wednesday 09th of November 2005, 11:46 PM, Babs asked:
Six hour road trip with an 80lb. dog. Do we tranqulize or not tranquilize??
Depends on the nature of the dog. As a cat person, I would probably go with tranquilize.
On Monday 07th of November 2005, 05:52 PM, Nigel asked:
Flat packing. An insult to Henry Ford?
On Monday 07th of November 2005, 05:50 PM, Nigel asked:
Australians. Rudest, whingiest people on the planet?
No.
Irish people living in London: most xenophobic, judgemental people on the planet?
On Wednesday 02nd of November 2005, 04:02 PM, Anonymous asked:
I NEED FACTS ON THE INVENTION OF SOAP AND HOW IT WAS MADE AND THE INGREDIANTS
On Saturday 29th of October 2005, 06:03 PM, Babs asked:
I hate the bloody Cuisinart of Death sleep apparati. Can I trade it in for a used Firebird??
On Friday 28th of October 2005, 08:54 PM, Nigel asked:
I have a spare ticket to Harry Potter this Sunday morning. Anybody interested?
Yes. But you’re in London two weeks ago.
On Thursday 27th of October 2005, 02:28 PM, Nigel asked:
Is this train missing a driver?
I glance over every so often. We’re on rails, baby – chill.
On Wednesday 26th of October 2005, 11:05 AM, Nigel asked:
Why have you foresaken us?
Time. Energy. You know. I’ll be mostly moved after Sunday, but I won’t be getting cable until the following weekend so I may be bored enough to blog in the interim.
On Wednesday 26th of October 2005, 04:45 AM, Babs asked:
Is there some sort of massive flannel shortage in the northwest and is this why I can’t seem to find a decent flannel comforter??
On Tuesday 25th of October 2005, 05:00 PM, Nigel asked:
Why don’t you respond to these queries in a timely manner?
On Saturday 22nd of October 2005, 03:08 PM, Nigel asked:
My answer:
Stop interrupting! I shoot the delivery guy.
On Saturday 22nd of October 2005, 03:07 PM, Nigel asked:
There’s a wafer thin bomb hidden inside a pizza. When the pizza is sliced the bomb is armed. When all the slices are consumed the bomb explodes.
What do you do?
On Saturday 22nd of October 2005, 11:56 AM, Karen Matos asked:
Serendipity!! I am the tech teacher at the middle school in the Family Academy on 113th street between 7th and 8th aves. I am a long time fan of your blog and my kids love Warriors and webcomics etc. Could you be a guest lecturer at anytime in the future? (please)
My bedroom window almost overlooks your basketball court. I can’t talk much about games for contract reasons. Send me an email.
On Thursday 20th of October 2005, 06:20 PM, Nigel asked:
Doesn’t the Saddam trial make for gripping viewing?
Could we get Galloway thrown into the dock too?
Please???
On Wednesday 19th of October 2005, 02:41 PM, Nigel asked:
What’s the funniest part of Triumph of the Will?
My vote goes to the bit when they’re drilling with shovels.
Failing that I can’t watch the establishers of the crowds of stormtroopers in the stadium without expecting to see Luke, Han, Leia and Chewie when we cut to the stage.
I haven’t seen it. I’d be worried that I might turn into a nazi. I’m weak willed that way.
On Wednesday 19th of October 2005, 02:38 PM, Nigel asked:
Should I tell Ivan that he’s confusing Olympiad and Triumph of the Will?
On Tuesday 18th of October 2005, 12:30 PM, Ivan asked:
The logic is it is a better ‘documentaty’ and inferior propaganda, neither achieved their aims but triumph at least succeeded in portraying atheletes as aesthetically beautiful creatures in an aesthetically pleasing film. Bush got re-elected, excludes it from a ‘greatest’ status I believe. No? (cheap way to qualify as a question but I am a mite incenced that not only was ‘triumph’ omitted after making the top of similar poles for decades ‘farenheit’ also featured higher than ‘hoop dreams’ a travesty)
No.
But it is a travesty that pretty much anything was higher than Hoop Dreams.
On Tuesday 18th of October 2005, 12:25 PM, Nigel asked:
Ever dated a singer-songwriter?
Are you reverting to your old “I-don’t-have-a-blog-so-I’ll-use-Anthony’s” ways?
On Tuesday 18th of October 2005, 12:24 PM, Babs asked:
Would running away and joining the circus freakshow be a wise choice for me??
On Tuesday 18th of October 2005, 12:24 PM, Nigel asked:
Are Leni Riefenstahl’s docs better edited than Michael Moore’s? Sorry, dumb question. Of course they are?
Should Michael Moore quit shuffling around in front of the camera?
Everybody’s gotta make a living.
On Monday 17th of October 2005, 06:34 PM, Ivan asked:
If farenheit made the list then triumph should have too, at a higher position, agreed?
No. There is no logic in your position. That is entirely incoherent.
On Monday 17th of October 2005, 03:14 PM, Nigel asked:
Can I answer Ivan’s question and say that Triumph of the Will is as much a piece of propoganda as Fahrenheit 911 is? Or should that be the other way round?
On Sunday 16th of October 2005, 08:20 PM, Ivan asked:
Is ‘triumph of the will’ as much a documentary as ‘farenheit 911’?, the reason i ask is i foolishly stayed up to watch a C4 sow ‘the 50 greatest Documentaries’(main reason to find out what the hoop dreams kids are doin now, [preaching and motivatig if you care]) and ‘triumph of the will’ was not on it. Shocking to see anti-nazi blackballing still kickin it large in the 21st century.
Yes, I know. I mean, what did the Nazi’s ever do to be so discriminated against?
And oddly I do care what the Hoop Dreams kids are up to. Glad it’s not bad.
On Sunday 16th of October 2005, 01:28 PM, Nigel asked:
So I recently watched the reconstruction of The Big Red One. Is it, like Apocalypse Now Redux, perhaps an example of why some stuff should be left on the cutting room floor?
I’ll take your word for it. I haven’t seen either extended version.
On Friday 14th of October 2005, 11:25 AM, Babs asked:
Is it possible to take 8 mm films and transfer to CD format?? And if so, is this something one can attempt themselves or is it best to ask a proper shop to do it??
On Tuesday 11th of October 2005, 12:46 PM, Ivan asked:
Sorry about the rule 6 violation but is ‘Triumph of the will’ a documentary?
Well, as you apologised… Sort of.
On Tuesday 11th of October 2005, 12:36 PM, Ivan asked:
G-mail sorted, where is my god-damn gravatar?
It’s back. And Gravatar’s don’t have anything to do with me – check out www.gravatar.com/blog next time something goes wrong.
On Monday 10th of October 2005, 11:23 AM, D. asked:
Where will you go when you wish to experience the distinctive, and in its own way, authentically aesthetic, televisual presentation of the moving image. An analogy might clarify my question: colour and sound are fine in there own way but the classics of the movie art are surely the black and white silent films. Large screens and surrond sound smother the essentially televisual. It’s great when the really artisctic choice is the cheep one.
I will have three televisions of varying quality.
Seriously. I already have two.
On Sunday 09th of October 2005, 07:17 PM, Ivan asked:
I have still not got the bloody thing going on this computer, (i have not installed g-talk), what do you suggest?
On Sunday 09th of October 2005, 12:49 PM, ivan asked:
where are you, working?? get it together I need you knowledge.
No. I am at home working on a new entry. Strangely enough, I don’t regard this as my job. I hope you’ve got your Gmail working.
On Saturday 08th of October 2005, 02:43 PM, Babs asked:
No one here can decide what to have for dinner. Should I make stuffing with ground bits of sausage mixed in?? Or sausage and peppers??
On Thursday 06th of October 2005, 02:11 PM, Ivan asked:
Oh Cyberknowledgeable one, when i try to access my G-mail it just keeps saying ‘loading….’, whats going on? I am only trying on the same laptop that the problem 1st occured on and i think the original problem stems from the connection being lost while it was accessing my account. Help!!
I don’t know. Try a different computer? Have you installed Google Talk?
On Wednesday 05th of October 2005, 01:44 PM, Nigel asked:
Do your fellow Noo Yawkers want Woody Allen to return from London?
I have not heard this discussed. Why, do your fellow Londoners want to get rid of him?
On Wednesday 05th of October 2005, 11:23 AM, Ivan asked:
Is there a t.v. licence in America?
On Wednesday 05th of October 2005, 03:38 AM, daragh asked:
I thought you said you were going to clamp down on impersonations? I like to wear pick? now come on!
The rules do not apply to me.
On Sunday 02nd of October 2005, 09:41 AM, Ivan asked:
Rule 6 was invented for Nigel, can you not just change ‘the same person’ to ‘Nigel’?
On Saturday 01st of October 2005, 04:00 PM, Daragh asked:
La la la la la la… I like to wear pink. Why are you so intelligent?
It’s impossible to say. I just am.
On Saturday 01st of October 2005, 04:00 PM, Daragh asked:
Oh, Anthony – I’m so sorry about breaking rule 6 repeatedly. Do you want all my money?
Why yes, Daragh. Thank you.
On Saturday 01st of October 2005, 03:59 PM, Daragh asked:
I am such a stupid head. I can’t follow simple rules!
I know, I know. And that wasn’t even a question!
On Saturday 01st of October 2005, 03:55 PM, Daragh asked:
Why do I have such a careless disregard for well thought out and productive rules, Mr. Anthony, sir?
I don’t know, Daragh, I don’t know.
On Saturday 01st of October 2005, 03:52 PM, Daragh asked:
Hows Vanessa feel about you leaving?
How do you feel about leaving, i doubt they can replace you – shes really gonna miss you ya know – ilove your previous answers – especially the bros one that exactly what i was thinkin –
Rule 6 in full effect. Future questions will be edited.
On Friday 30th of September 2005, 10:09 PM, Daragh asked:
My answer:
SEVERE rule 6 violation. I’m watching you, buddy. I’m probably going to have to add a rule about asking impossible questions.
On Friday 30th of September 2005, 10:07 PM, Daragh asked:
ba ba black sheep have you any wool?
No, I have no wool.
Rule 6 alert!
On Friday 30th of September 2005, 10:02 PM, Daragh asked:
My answer:
I can’t answer. I can’t answer that.
On Friday 30th of September 2005, 03:01 PM, sue hetherington asked:
how do you say get well soon in Polish
Otrzymuj? (dostawa?; rozumie?) dobrze wkrótce.
The question marks are characters outside the set this site uses. Check here: http://www.poltran.com/
On Thursday 29th of September 2005, 03:46 AM, Babs asked:
What is a polite and tactful way to tell a visiting relative that their feet are funky as hell and likely contributing to air pollution on a worldwide scale??
On Wednesday 28th of September 2005, 09:56 AM, daragh asked:
Why not do music reviews – favourite album you recently bought- fav of all time – anthony’s top 20 songs of all time- blogs greatest hits- everybody gets their say in the comments – best song wins -is this a good idea – i know you also love your music aswell as your films
I like music, but I don’t pretend to have any understanding of it. I listen very uncritically, unlike the way I watch movies. And I have hardly bought any music since coming to New York.
On Monday 26th of September 2005, 12:46 PM, Nigel asked:
Why are traffic lights (or signals as you Yanks call them) the colours (sorry, colors) that they are?
Red for stop and green for go predates the traffic light – those colours were used for railway signals first.
On Monday 26th of September 2005, 12:45 PM, Nigel asked:
Was the cat in a big hat or was the cat just small?
On Monday 26th of September 2005, 12:00 PM, Babs asked:
I had a dream in which someone I used to work with and have not seen in over 13 years, (and frankly, I couldn’t stand back him then as he was a whiny bastard), made a cameo appearance. What in gods name does it mean??
On Sunday 25th of September 2005, 11:59 AM, Nigel asked:
Now that you’ll soon be in an unfurnished apartment (albeit not one you own) have you found that you interest in furniture catalogues has increased dramatically?
Well, I’m more of an internet kind of guy but yes. It’s really more the giant TVs that I’m interested in than the furniture, but I guess I will need somewhere to sit.
On Sunday 25th of September 2005, 11:58 AM, Nigel asked:
Regarding your comment that it would be silly to ask yourself questions don’t you think the unexamined life is not worth living? Introspect!!!
On Saturday 24th of September 2005, 02:07 PM, Ivan asked:
Nigel will return to the forum soon, do I have to ignore rule 6 again? (at least i can rely on babs to keep the pressure on)
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Ivan. All this pressure is coming from your own fevered brain. Be free!
On Friday 23rd of September 2005, 01:37 PM, Babs asked:
Does my not wanting to accept the sleep ap diagnosis and the cure-all thereof make me a vain bastard??
On Thursday 22nd of September 2005, 10:16 PM, Ivan asked:
Have you ever thought about asking yourself questions?
No. That would be silly, wouldn’t it?
Yes.
On Thursday 22nd of September 2005, 10:07 PM, Ivan asked:
I hear your rule 6 and ignore it with lack of compassion towards Nigel abandon, would you be pleased/displeased/disinterested to drop the % quotient below 35%?
It is not a matter of great concern to me.
You must be very, very bored.
On Thursday 22nd of September 2005, 10:05 PM, Babs asked:
Have you been afforded the chance to try, or to cook, ‘Hoppin’ John’??
On Thursday 22nd of September 2005, 11:29 AM, Nigel asked:
Who do you think won the Hitchens – Galloway debate?
Who’s debating what now?
Anyone would think we lived in entirely different countries with distinct media concerns.
On Thursday 22nd of September 2005, 11:27 AM, Nigel asked:
Do any plants have square roots?
On Thursday 22nd of September 2005, 12:20 AM, Babs asked:
Should I ruin the boys fun and post a 70th comment on the famed ‘Cast’ post, or should I just let some unwitting party comment and THEN continue with the shenanigans??
(Obviously this question is best answered sooner than later, if possible)
Apparently pirates have no truck with that sort of thing.
On Wednesday 21st of September 2005, 10:35 AM, Ivan asked:
Back to the fan thing, if yes does that mean it will be hot enough to go for a swim in the sea?
Did you not read the rules? They’re right there. Look up. Seriously. Up.
Anyway, as far as I can recall, the temperature of the sea isn’t really that related to the prevailing temperature of a locality. Since heat (as opposed to temperature) is relative the sea will probably seem quite warm on a cold day.
But please bear in mind that I remember reading once that the Irish Sea is the most radioactive in the world. Thanks, Britain!
On Wednesday 21st of September 2005, 10:33 AM, Ivan asked:
Absinthe, with or without sugar?
Why, with, of course.
Rule 6! Rule 6!
On Wednesday 21st of September 2005, 10:32 AM, Ivan asked:
Does anyone need a fan in the Autumn in Ireland? (because we have one sitting in our living room)
I suppose it might be useful for chopping carrots or something.
On Wednesday 21st of September 2005, 10:30 AM, Ivan asked:
Should Stephanie water her plants once or twice a week?
“Plants” is a uselessly vague term in this context.
Twice.
On Tuesday 20th of September 2005, 11:48 AM, Nigel asked:
Have you read “Lost For Words” by JOhn Humphreys yet? I think you’d appreciate that.
I have never even heard of it until now.
On Tuesday 20th of September 2005, 08:50 AM, Babs asked:
My nephew is turning into a snotnosed teenager in 3 weeks time. What would a hip about-to-be-13 kid like for a present do you suppose??
I really don’t know. Thinking back, the only thing I really wanted at the age of 13 was to be told I never had to go to school ever again. I’m sure if you could fix that up he’d be thrilled.
On Sunday 18th of September 2005, 09:39 AM, Nigel asked:
Am I really a grammar Nazi? Why thanks!
Only by the standards of others.
On Sunday 18th of September 2005, 09:38 AM, Nigel asked:
Do you think it’s a bad idea to suggest a pool (of the billiards variety) bar as a venue for a date? I do, especially if you end up playing for a while. Fuck! Oh well, that makes the list of second dates shorter!
Oh and I know it’s breaking the rules but all the chapters in “Curious Incident” were numbered with prime numbers. You can see how it could have gotten out of hand.
Yes. You are good at pool so that also could be construed as “showing off”.
On Saturday 17th of September 2005, 07:04 AM, Ivan asked:
How annoyed will nigel be when he sees his average is below 40% again?
Not as annoyed as I am to see that you’ve broken rule 6.
On Saturday 17th of September 2005, 07:02 AM, Ivan asked:
Why havent u answered my last question yet even though you have found time to post comments?
That’s just the way it goes sometimes.
On Friday 16th of September 2005, 06:27 PM, Ivan asked:
Can you get tetris in the psp?
Lumines is similar but inferior. I don’t think you can get it pure. Anyway, the PSP is better for watching TV and movies than it is for games. At least, until GTA:LCS comes out.
On Friday 16th of September 2005, 01:52 AM, Babs asked:
Settle an argument please. Which episodes of M*A*S*H are funnier?? The ones with Trapper?? Or the ones with BJ??
Surely the choice is between Frank Burns and Charles Winchester. Or Radar and Klinger as clerk.
Anyway, BJ was in more and later episodes than Trapper so obviously he was in more of the mushy ones.
On Wednesday 14th of September 2005, 04:00 PM, Babs asked:
My cousin insists on putting garlic powder in the macaroni and cheese. How can I convince him that this practice is blasphemy and, moreover, completely disgusting??
On Wednesday 14th of September 2005, 12:53 PM, Nigel asked:
Do you think the publishers of “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime” were relieved that it didn’t have a few hundred more chapters?
I’m thinking of how long the chapter title pages alone would have been. Now that’s a hell of a big printing bill.
I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.
On Wednesday 14th of September 2005, 12:51 PM, Nigel asked:
Hmmm. Asked an unclear question earlier. Sagan ends with Ellie finding a sequence of digits deep inside pi that can be decoded to produce a picture of a circle. This is proof that the universe was created.
It doesn’t, of course, have to mean that it was created by Bog in the heavens, but it isn’t far away.
I’m sure, however, that he did pray that his first and only work of fiction would someday be read and assessed by my razor sharp intellect.
But anyway, theist?
Would that really be proof? Anyway, just because somebody creates a work of fiction in which the world was indupitably created by a higher power doesn’t necessarily mean that they believe it to be true in reality.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view.php/11623
On Wednesday 14th of September 2005, 07:52 AM, Ivan asked:
Have you bought/tried the PSP yet?
Ivan, please, have we met? I got one on the first day.
It’s awesome.
On Tuesday 13th of September 2005, 04:43 PM, Babs asked:
Oog!! I’ve got an actual ‘sound thingie’ type question!! If someone has a VHS tape that was recorded with a video camera, at, say, a party, is it possible to edit the din of rambling drunks and general background noisiness out in order to hear what was meant to be heard?? Or is it all set in stone??
It’s in stone. Sorry. That’s why good sound is expensive.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocktail_party_effect
On Tuesday 13th of September 2005, 02:20 PM, Nigel asked:
I finished reading “Contact” a few days ago. So does this mean that Carl Sagan was a theist? Of sorts anyway.
You mean, you think he prayed that you would finish?
On Tuesday 13th of September 2005, 02:18 PM, Nigel asked:
What’s the highest prime number known to humankind?
Apologies if the answer won’t fit in your answer box.
No, it fits:
2^25964951 − 1
Apparently it’s 7,816,230 digits long.
On Tuesday 13th of September 2005, 11:26 AM, Babs asked:
While you were in Canada did anyone try to force you to swear allegiance to false (read: Canadian) bacon??
You North Americans just don’t get bacon at all, any of you.
On Monday 12th of September 2005, 12:17 PM, Nigel asked:
Seen the light yet and become a Pastafarian?
I have been touched by his noodly appendage.
On Monday 12th of September 2005, 12:16 PM, Nigel asked:
Is Habitat better than Ikea?
In some senses yes, in others no.
What are they, types of bird?
On Monday 12th of September 2005, 08:28 AM, Babs asked:
Do you suppose god would mind if I prayed for the Yankees to go on a massive losing streak??
I don’t think he would care. Like me.
On Saturday 10th of September 2005, 02:17 PM, Nigel asked:
How come you’re not reviewing movies anymore? I want this feature reinstated!
Time. I have time to see them, but not review them. Your request has been noted and will be ignored in due course.
On Saturday 10th of September 2005, 02:16 PM, Nigel asked:
I have a hot date with a lovely and erudite American chick soon. Any tips?
Incessantly make fun of Bush and then ask her about her dream wedding.
On Saturday 10th of September 2005, 01:13 PM, Babs asked:
Am I correct in assuming that I have every right to feel slighted by the shabby way in which I have been treated by certain parties of the male persuasion?? And does this give me the inalienable right to call him and tell him to f*** off, even though he hasn’t called me so as to allow me do said venting??
Well, if you do feel slighted then it doesn’t really matter if you have a right to. But I do think that going out of your way to call someone specifically to tell them to f*** off is sending something of a mixed signal.
On Friday 09th of September 2005, 08:58 AM, Nigel asked:
What are the optimum proportions of ingredients in a Nutella and Digestives sandwich?
Do the digestives replace the bread, or are they mashed up into the Nutella?
EIther way, I don’t know.
On Friday 09th of September 2005, 08:56 AM, Nigel asked:
Why do people keep ruining my 40% pass rate on this?
On Thursday 08th of September 2005, 09:24 PM, Ivan asked:
Has anyone else noticed the increased occurance of George Bush’s end of sentence chin wobble? Do you think he is finally showing physical signs of the obvious mental illness he suffers from or is it just enviromental poisoning?
What is a physical sign of a mental illness?
On Thursday 08th of September 2005, 04:34 AM, daragh pounch asked:
Whats eatin you? jesus anto lightin up a bit ya big weirdo!or is it ironic or smarty pants time? howeya keeping anyway?
- Comments: For remarks or questions regarding a specific post.
- Ask Anthony: Simple questions with specific answers. A chance to avail of my wisdom.
- Email: An appropriate way to indulge in chit chat and general inquiries as to health and wellbeing.
On Thursday 08th of September 2005, 04:04 AM, Babs asked:
What do you suppose is better to consume when one is ill, egg drop soup or wonton soup??
It depends. How many pills are you putting into the soup?
On Friday 02nd of September 2005, 07:18 AM, daragh pounch asked:
that was supposed to be NEW ZEALAND
I’m amused that you think that was the only error.
On Friday 02nd of September 2005, 07:16 AM, daragh pounch asked:
how do you get the figs into the fig rolls? the drugs don’t work they just make you burp! guinness is not the choice der tommissar its erdinger – or weise bier or pronunced vice beer – big huge glass- the glass is the best bit and a nice big head – reminds me of the film ‘ice cold in alex’ when john mills comes in with cynthia and polishes one off…. ‘worth waiting for’ he exclaims…
why is there not jet stream or smoke that planes leave by when they fly by in austraila or new zeala? mind you the water does go the other way round when you flush the toilet as bart simpson says and the clouds do seem higher in the sky there … far away…far away and there does seem to be more stars in the sky there a whole different constelation there – like the southern cross- im breaking all the rules here but hey its friday and anthony- good luck in canada and say hi to james for me hope you have a great time
On Friday 02nd of September 2005, 04:48 AM, Nigel asked:
Ever tried out a Sensform mattress? They use NASA technology so I figured they’re exactly the kind of bed gadget that you should have. It doesn’t seem right that I’ll soon have one but you won’t!
On Thursday 01st of September 2005, 05:09 PM, Babs asked:
Should I invite one of Trash’s (more sober) friends to the wedding of the century?? Or am I better off going to said wedding solo?
On Wednesday 31st of August 2005, 08:58 PM, Nigel asked:
Are people in New York blaming Jude or Sienna?
On Tuesday 30th of August 2005, 09:11 PM, Nigel asked:
What are the best kind of headphones to use on a plane?
I hear good things about Etymotics.
On Tuesday 30th of August 2005, 07:59 PM, Babs asked:
Is being in a country with limited internet access, at best, a free pass to ask a multitude of questions at once??
On Tuesday 30th of August 2005, 07:07 PM, Nigel asked:
Have you started your post 30th birthday lurch towards the right yet?
I’ve noticed that a lot of people are surprised that I’ve had good things to say about Bush’s support for Iraq’s fledgling democracy and also that I haven’t blamed Tony Blair for the London bombings.
It’s hard to tell. I may well have moved towards the right from a European perspective, but as far as the US is concerned I might as well be a communist.
On Tuesday 30th of August 2005, 06:55 PM, Nigel asked:
What’s happened to inthedarkparty.com?
I ceded it when I emigrated, and it was allowed to lapse by the new proprietors. I haven’t heard anything about a party this year.
On Tuesday 30th of August 2005, 03:51 PM, Nigel asked:
Ever tried Tusker beer? It’s from Kenya and it’s quite nice. I think it might be the one alluded to in “Generation X”.
On Tuesday 30th of August 2005, 03:50 PM, Nigel asked:
Do you think Michael Owen has made a bad career move by siging for The Toon?
No, in that I don’t think anything about it. Why does he have two first names?
On Monday 29th of August 2005, 08:56 PM, Babs asked:
Do you wait until there are a certain amount of questions asked before you answer them, or do you just answer them on a whim whenever you like??
On Sunday 28th of August 2005, 06:44 PM, Babs asked:
Can you name the 42 tribes of Kenya WITHOUT asking Nigel or googling it??
On Saturday 27th of August 2005, 03:49 PM, Nigel asked:
Did you know that Kenya has 42 different tribes?
Did you also know that Mount Kenya is pretty damn big but that I managed to haul my ass up it a few days ago?
I forgot to tell you I was going, didn’t I? Sorry, but it was a spur of the moment decision.
No, I didn’t know any of those things.
Congratulations!
On Friday 26th of August 2005, 11:27 AM, Nigel asked:
Has anybody asked you a question from Kenya before?
On Thursday 25th of August 2005, 12:18 AM, Babs asked:
Do you know the way to San Jose??
I haven’t really researched this, but I imagine it involves getting on a plane, and then perhaps renting a car. Maybe there’s a rail or bus link from the airport.
Anyway, I’m sure any reputable travel agent could help you out.
On Wednesday 24th of August 2005, 11:42 AM, Der Tommissar asked:
What kind of drugs are all these people on?
Daragh: Guinness
Babs: Don’t ask, but apparently they’re not working
Nigel: High on life
Dean: Bock Bier
Jimi: A potent concoction of maple syrup and Labatts
On Tuesday 23rd of August 2005, 12:10 AM, Babs asked:
Is it safe to ask a question now??
On Monday 15th of August 2005, 08:57 AM, daragh pounch asked:
Wanna go to Malta?
Paris is on the cards too – when are you taking holidays?
I have no holidays any more.
On Sunday 14th of August 2005, 08:58 PM, Ben Casey, M.D. asked:
Should I be worried that 6 motrins, 6 tylenols, and 4 childrens aspirins, taken in the span of 12 hours, have done nothing to alleviate toothachey type pains??
On Sunday 14th of August 2005, 07:12 PM, Babs asked:
Do you think the good people of Kenya should be provided with a ‘Nigel repellent’??
I don’t think that’s actually necessary.
On Thursday 11th of August 2005, 06:31 AM, Nigel asked:
Don’t you think the belligerent tone of the rules section above may be dissuading people from seeking your wisdom as they may be already quaking in their boots at the prospect of receiving a withering reply?
On Thursday 11th of August 2005, 06:29 AM, Nigel asked:
Odds of Daragh constructing a coherent sentence any time soon? Please tell me he was drunk when he typed up that last non-question.
On Thursday 11th of August 2005, 06:27 AM, Nigel asked:
Think I can survive a two week break from the modern world?
On Thursday 11th of August 2005, 06:26 AM, Nigel asked:
Who is hotter than Georgia asphalt?
On Tuesday 09th of August 2005, 03:54 AM, daragh pounch asked:
Welcome to the nigel & babs blog! – no wonder no-one asks questions anymore! – anthony – never get around to answer them just yet – babs just talks shite and threatens to hit people all the time and nigel ... well nigel is nigel less is more nigel!& you’ll be o.k- babs give other people a chance….please
For all that, Daragh, you are the only one who never actually asks a question.
On Monday 08th of August 2005, 07:02 PM, Nigel asked:
Know any good lion repellents? And no, I don’t think bulls blood counts.
On Monday 08th of August 2005, 01:49 PM, Nigel asked:
Babs, why are you asking him? I can tell you all about that. Oh wait, this isn’t my blog. Hmmm.
Anthony, do you expect a postcard from Kenya? You do realise I’m spending most of time in a place with no running water and as far as I’m aware no (or at least intermittent depending upon the generator) electricity?
On Monday 08th of August 2005, 05:48 AM, Babs asked:
Also, why do you suppose not more than 3 days after we got the toilet fixed, that the shower broke??
The world hates you. I hate to break it to you so bluntly.
On Monday 08th of August 2005, 05:47 AM, Babs asked:
May I ask what certain parties are gloating about, even though, in all honesty, it’s slightly obvious??
What is this, “Ask Nigel”? I don’t think so.
On Friday 05th of August 2005, 11:24 AM, Nigel asked:
When are you going to introduce a rule against incitement to hatred and violence?
I have no plans to institute such a rule.
On Thursday 04th of August 2005, 08:22 PM, Nigel asked:
Why haven’t you posted rule number 7 at the top of this page? I can’t see the point of inspiring increased complexity if you fail to follow up. I mean, really. Now, why did I eat that last orange chocolate mousse earlier when I wasn’t even hungry?
Oh sorry, just realised that this isn’t my blog. Doh! I’ll leave now.
Sorry, what? I fell asleep.
On Thursday 04th of August 2005, 08:19 PM, Nigel asked:
Is it morally acceptable to go out on a practice date prior to an eagerly awaited one? I believe ‘the rules’ are different in Noo Yawk.
On Thursday 04th of August 2005, 08:18 PM, Nigel asked:
So now you’re taking questions from randy tomcats?
Oh wait, it’s THAT kind of heat. Pardon me.
On Thursday 04th of August 2005, 04:07 PM, Babs asked:
Advice for getting through this god-awful, disgusting, and oh-so-despicable heat??
Air conditioning? Works for me. And never, ever going outside. And for pity’s sake dont spend any more time in the subway stations than you have to.
On Thursday 04th of August 2005, 05:10 AM, Nigel asked:
When was the last time SHE did all the hard work for you and asked YOU out on a date?
On Wednesday 03rd of August 2005, 05:34 PM, Nigel asked:
Why does it often take you a long time to respond to questions from people who are desperate for an answer? I’m glad you’re not a Samaritan.
It’s disdain. I too am glad that I’m not a Samaritan.
On Monday 01st of August 2005, 04:51 PM, Babs asked:
May I ask a very silly question in order to assist Nigel in not breaking rule # 6 and thusly allowing him to bring his percentage back up to par??
On Monday 01st of August 2005, 01:05 AM, Nigel asked:
My percntage has slipped dramatically. I once accounted for over 50% of the visits to the Oracle of Brooklyn. Now look!
What is the minimum number of questions that must be asked for me to get back to 40% but without breaking rule 6?
Questions should not be asked for a purpose not related to hearing my answer.
New rule!
On Sunday 31st of July 2005, 08:30 PM, Nigel asked:
So how many readers do you have left?
Who’s counting?
Seriously, who?
On Sunday 31st of July 2005, 02:54 PM, Babs asked:
What if I said you could beat him up too?? And that he does dishes??
On Sunday 31st of July 2005, 06:32 AM, Babs asked:
Would you care to adopt, care for, and live with Felix, if only to save him from the painful beating I shall soon inflict on him for merely existing and ceasing to yap??
You have failed to enthuse me at the prospect.
On Saturday 30th of July 2005, 08:03 AM, Nigel asked:
Would you be offended if I told you that it’s just now that I’ve truly recognised the extent of your sage like wisdom.
I can’t shake the feeling that some of your advice may be socially unacceptable but if you recommend a course of action who am I to question it?
On Friday 29th of July 2005, 09:44 PM, Nigel asked:
How does one choose from a number of intelligent, articulate, erudite, funny and attractive women?
Let’s imagine that the number in question is three. ... Actually, no. ... Four. ... Well, maybe six.
And no, I’m not asking this question from Vegas!
On Wednesday 27th of July 2005, 05:03 AM, Babs asked:
And assuming you would choose fang yankage over party, would you dare to show up at said event toothless and simply attempt to never speak or open your mouth by declaring laryngitis??
Well, I guess that’s an option. Under precisely what circumstances would this wedding cease to be fun for you?
On Wednesday 27th of July 2005, 05:01 AM, Babs asked:
If you posessed an invite to what surely will be the wedding of the century but it would postpone the yanking of fangs EVEN further, WHICH would you choose?? Embarassing your relatives at a wedding with an open bar and watching a bunch of drunks do the chicken dance, or the fang surgery??
Fang surgery. I would say you’re better off not tempting fate at this point.
On Tuesday 26th of July 2005, 04:43 AM, D asked:
How would you compare and contrast J.K Rowlings and J.Austin and explain what possible interest mature adults can have in fantastical stories written for the young and immature?
The more you love books, the more books you love.
On Friday 15th of July 2005, 08:29 AM, Ruggybabs asked:
Could the ‘less questions query’ be related to, in part, the fact that people are out and about more owing to it being summertime and are consulting with, say, wise homeless men in the park??
Well, once you consult with a wise homeless man in the park you’ll never go back to a blogger on the internet. That’s actually where I get most of the answers in the first place.
On Monday 11th of July 2005, 07:10 PM, daragh asked:
ever wonder why other people just don’t ask u questions any more?
It’s a novelty thing. If I took this page down for a month and put it back up you’d see another flurry.
On Friday 08th of July 2005, 12:58 AM, Ruggybabs asked:
While with MOST families it’s fairly easy to announce that a person is no longer on the market and is seeing someone. However, how does one deal with this when they are related to complete barking lunatics??
You seem to have managed. Gracefully done.
On Wednesday 22nd of June 2005, 04:08 AM, Nigel asked:
Couldn’t you have looped that PSP video in a more graceful (bordering on seamless) way?
On Monday 20th of June 2005, 03:52 AM, Ruggybabs asked:
Odds of an insomniac getting insomnia in the midst of an all-important sleep test??
On Friday 17th of June 2005, 11:09 PM, asked:
Why Did Mr. Gildhari let the dogs biTe Shell?
Ah, a question for the ages.
On Friday 17th of June 2005, 03:35 PM, Nigel asked:
Don’t you think ‘whopping’ is no longer appropriate as a description of my volume of teaser posing?
I was pondering removing your counter, but I didn’t. With this question, you have lessened the chance that I will. Slightly.
On Thursday 16th of June 2005, 03:00 AM, Ruggybabs asked:
If mairzydotes and dozydotes and little lamsy divy, what do reticulated pythons eat??
On Tuesday 14th of June 2005, 12:42 AM, Ruggybabs asked:
Were you aware that quite a few chunks of ‘Goodfellas’ were filmed right here on the isle of Staten??
On Saturday 11th of June 2005, 04:18 PM, gerrysan asked:
Why has Nig in London now turned to a telephone card advertisement G
He’s abandoned his blog, and I guess somebody decided to appropriate the name to take advantage of his accumulated Google Juice. I’d better delete the link.
On Friday 10th of June 2005, 02:30 PM, daragh asked:
Hey d , its a scicilian (prob wrongly spelled) thing – iv’e exprienced it- and i was blown away by how closely i felt i was on the set of the godfather- spielberg used to do it in his earlier films aswell like e.t etc – oh yea my question…....what dou u think?
Yeah, what he said. And what do I think about what?
On Friday 10th of June 2005, 07:24 AM, D. asked:
I saw Goodfellas again recently. I was struck by somthing I had not noticed before: the huge role food, its prepartion and meals played in the film. I think the same could be said for Scorcese’s other ‘ganster movies’. Of course, meals are a handy device to bring people together. But I suspect their is more to it than that. I suppose their is a treatise out there somewhere entitled ‘Food and the Meal: Metaphor or Character in the work of Scorcese?’ or ‘The meal and murder: representing sociability in an anti-social world.’ Perhaps he is an Italian glutton. What do you think?
Yeah, I think it’s an Italian thing. You can see the same type of use of food in The Godfather. Also, one of Scorsese’s early films was a documentary called Italianamerican about his parents in which his mother’s spaghetti sauce features largely.
On Thursday 09th of June 2005, 02:38 PM, daragh asked:
How’s the love life – hows the new york ladies treating u? Rockstar must be crawling with them!
Why would you think that? Anyway, you more than most know I don’t write about that sort of thing.
On Wednesday 08th of June 2005, 05:13 PM, daragh asked:
Yea, forgot the question mark – breaking all rules now but whatcha reckon???????????????????????????????
u really don’t want to answer this one do ya?
Question mark or no question mark, there was no question! I have absolutely no idea what you’re asking! Might I suggest a complete sentence?
On Tuesday 07th of June 2005, 06:42 PM, daragh asked:
Whatcha reckon anthony – its harder to hate someone than be civil and get along with- it uses up more energy – as bruce says – ‘be water my friend…. using no way as way having no limitations as limitations….If u pour water into a cup it becomes the cup….....etc
bring it on , bang a gong, get it on!
I know you started with “whatcha reckon”, but I don’t really think this is a question now is it?
No.
On Tuesday 07th of June 2005, 10:37 AM, D asked:
I watched ‘American Choppers’ last night and I am terribly confused. About the programme, about US culture, about civilisation and its future. The programme was a collection of scenes from the series – in which the grossly overweight chopper assemblers grunted incomprehensibly at each while breaking out into violent attacks on inanimate objects. There also went on excursions to do idiotic things. They gave vulagar and expensive presents and showed there inability to say thank you. Is programme made to be watched? Does anybody watch it apart from chance viewers with an interest in the patholgies of culture. Please explain.
I happen to know that you watch this programme too often and with far too much relish to be considered a “chance viewer with an interest in the pathologies of culture”. The answer to your question lies not on my website, but in the dark recesses of your own conflicted soul.
On Monday 06th of June 2005, 03:14 AM, Ruggybabs asked:
Do you suppose you could lend me airfare to Dublin and a pair of boxing gloves??
I don’t. And it would be better with the gloves off. More satisfying.
On Sunday 05th of June 2005, 11:47 AM, daragh asked:
why do ya think babs wants to beat me up? is that irony thing again isn’t it- and yo’re right anthony – no problems –
Maybe she just took against you. Have you considered going into hiding?
On Thursday 02nd of June 2005, 06:59 AM, Babs asked:
What is the most effective way to beat up Daragh?? (kidding, KIDDING)
{maybe}
It would involve moving to Dublin, to begin with. After that I don’t think he’d present you with too many problems.
On Tuesday 31st of May 2005, 06:13 PM, daragh asked:
a true diplomatic Anthony- nigel & babs only joking with that just lookin for a reaction or 2 – and great info on the date thing and my question- where do u get all this info from and why? – anyways keep up the good work!
Mostly Wikipedia and/or Google. Occasionally ask.com. As to why, well, I didn’t intend to become a dispenser of trivia but if I’m going to invite people to ask me questions I feel I should make some attempt to answer them.
On Monday 30th of May 2005, 12:58 PM, daragh asked:
and nigel – why does he ask so many questions- is he thick or something?........babs aint too far behind also -although i think she just likes the company….....discusssssssssss
Actually, Nigel hasn’t asked anything for a while. He’s definitely lagging. I may have to remove his special counter.
On Monday 30th of May 2005, 12:54 PM, daragh asked:
why is the month always put down first in the states – i.e todays date 5/30/05 when we have 30/5/05 and what do other country’s do?
Most other countries do it the correct way, and not the bass-ackwards American way, which constantly irritates me. The US version is an example of middle-endian order, which makes no sense. I don’t know why it’s like that. There’s a fairly comprehensive list of how various countries display their dates also on Wikipedia. Apparently in Canada they do it both ways. How does that work?
On Tuesday 24th of May 2005, 11:55 PM, Babs asked:
What does one do when it seems their (poorly thought out, perhaps) blog anonymity may possibly be teetering on the brink of extinction??
Panic. Then brace yourself. Then realise it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be.
On Friday 20th of May 2005, 10:30 AM, D. asked:
what are your comments on John Banville’s devastatingly negative review of Ian McEwan’s novel Saturday in the recent issue of the New York Review of Books?
I can’t read it without subscribing, but I’m surprised. It wasn’t so great, but I wouldn’t have thought of it causing great ire either. What was his complaint? The political stuff? The unashamed revelling in the joys of being a middle class professional?
Ian McEwan always has gripping first chapters (“Enduring Love” particularly) but I find his novels tend to go off the rails a little after that. “Atonement” was the exception rather than the rule.
On Tuesday 10th of May 2005, 03:19 AM, Babs asked:
It is, as far as I know, a standard rule that if someone has one cigarette left in a pack, that it’s meant to be left for the owner of said pack and NOT to be touched. Someone here at my own abode has chosen to completely ignore this rule while I innocently slumbered. Who was it (choice of 3) and what do you feel is the best method of punishment for this blatant act of thievery??
The middle one, and the best punishment is severance.
On Thursday 05th of May 2005, 10:11 AM, Gerrysan asked:
Why are the seeds on the outside of a strawberry?
It seems to work. There are loads of them!
On Monday 02nd of May 2005, 03:46 AM, Babs asked:
Will you be reviewing said film or are you now crying into your towel?? (as of yet I’ve not seen it and would like to know if it’s brilliant or wretched)
I will review it, when I gather the energy.
On Sunday 24th of April 2005, 12:56 AM, Zaphod Beeblebrox asked:
Wouldn’t a PROPER hoopy frood wave his towel proudly during such an auspicious occasion??
No. I’m way too hoopy to feel the need to make a public display of my towel possession.
On Saturday 23rd of April 2005, 03:20 AM, Babs asked:
Will you be bringing along your towel to the theater when Hitchhikers opens??
I doubt it – just being aware of its location will be sufficient. Everyone should know that I’m a hoopy frood who always knows where his towel is.
On Wednesday 20th of April 2005, 07:28 AM, Babs asked:
Cure for possibly broken toe without having to see a quack??
On Sunday 17th of April 2005, 09:51 PM, AllRight asked:
Are there any Irish-American tinkers?
That’s a bizarrely interesting question that I’m afraid I have no clue how to answer.
On Friday 15th of April 2005, 01:49 AM, Babs asked:
Due to my own idiocy (very likely), poor directional skills (possibly), and poor setup of the roads on the south shore of this hideous island, I managed to get lost going to the new quack and never got there. Is this a subtle sign from god telling me to forget the whole tooth fiasco and remain hideous for the rest of my natural born life?? Or is this simply what happens when a moron takes SIRT??
How long have you lived on the island? I mean, come on. Soldier on!
On Monday 11th of April 2005, 11:17 PM, All Right asked:
Which country should George-Dub spank next?
He should just roll a d190.
On Saturday 09th of April 2005, 03:17 AM, Babs asked:
Debating on drastic haircut. Should I leave it long-ish or get (as my brothers put it) short-fat-banker-chick hair?? (please note they will call me the walking ATM, should I choose the latter)
It depends. What will they call you if you don’t, and is it worse?
On Wednesday 06th of April 2005, 12:03 PM, alex omoruyi asked:
please how can i come to america.i have no daddy,no mummy.can you help me.
On Sunday 03rd of April 2005, 03:42 AM, Babs asked:
I asked the magic-8 ball if anything untoward might happen to me the next time I attempt to get the teeth done—it’s answer was a DEFINITE no. Should I trust it???
I asked it if it was trustworthy, and it said “Ask Again Later”. Sounds like a hedge to me.
On Friday 01st of April 2005, 04:15 AM, D. asked:
Is the incomprhensible puzzle that guards your comment facility a device intended to censor my response to your response to my comment that will prove that I am correct?
No – be patient!
Can questions prove things? Surely they can only provoke proof. Anyway, I’ve responded with a further question. This Socratic method thing cuts both ways!
On Thursday 31st of March 2005, 01:45 PM, Gerrysan asked:
Relating to your invite to open to the floor question about THX loudness levels 5 Questions back. A rule of thumb not absolute by any means just a guide If one speaker is delivering 105dB SPL it will need 9 more to double the sound level to 111dB SPL and 90 more to double it again to 117dB SPL. Mind you 105dB SPL is still bloody loud and I only like in small doses.
Gerrysan
http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/sound/loud.html#c2
Well, that seems reasonable. To me this, like so many things, has always come under the heading of SEP.
On Wednesday 30th of March 2005, 07:37 PM, Nigel asked:
Why does the dates to remember on the right say that daylight savings starts on April 3rd? I thought that’s when it ends?
All I know is “Spring Forward, Fall Back”, and the dates may be different where you are from where I am.
On Wednesday 30th of March 2005, 09:22 AM, The artist formerly known as James asked:
Do you feel a sharp pang of guilt and overwhelming sense of shame from you obvious lapse of knowledge?
No. It’s more like a grinding crush of guilt and a constant underlying awareness of shame.
On Wednesday 30th of March 2005, 08:11 AM, Wheelie asked:
Dear Anthony,
I’ve started seeing someone new. Is he “the one”?
Wheelie xx
On Wednesday 30th of March 2005, 12:43 AM, The artist formerly know as James asked:
Can you tell me anything Charles Parnell?
If you left out a comma, my name isn’t Charles Parnell and I can probably tell you something. If you left out the word “about”, then I’m afraid I never met the man, so I can’t really add anything to this.
On Monday 28th of March 2005, 03:36 PM, Andrew Bellware asked:
The THX standard has -20dBfs at 85dB SPL (I believe “A weighted”) in the center of the theater from each speaker. That makes 0dBfs = a whopping 105dB SPL from each speaker. And if two equidistant speakers are pumping out the same signal, that would be 111dB SPL. Four speakers would be 117dB SPL.
I’m hoping I’m reading the spec wrong because that kind of gain staging is just silly (and dangerous). Do we really expect to leave at least 10dB of digital signal untouched?
Obviously, I need an award winning sound designer to help me in my wallow of confusion.
You don’t need an award winning sound designer like myself. You need an award winning engineer, or perhaps an award winning mixer.
I have no clue. I’ll throw this open to the floor.
On Monday 28th of March 2005, 12:52 PM, k.c asked:
how many letters are in the alphabet?
Which alphabet? Cyrillic? I’ll assume Cyrillic.
33.
On Monday 28th of March 2005, 12:51 PM, k.c asked:
well do you know when horses came to america cause im doing a report on it and i have knoe idea…..please answer it
You suck at the internet.
Read this.
I should change the name of this page to “Make Anthony Google for you”. Actually in this case I used Ask Jeeves.
On Saturday 26th of March 2005, 11:13 AM, D asked:
AWAJAW, Why cannot not post a comment to your recent blog offering hearty congratulations on your award from what I understand is universally known as the ‘Dun Laoghaire Institute of West?
It went into moderation. It’s up now. Patience!
On Friday 25th of March 2005, 05:17 AM, D asked:
Could ypu please supply basic information on the age, origins, character and avocation of Bob Saget who, apparently has taken to drinking in the Scratcher?
Well, according to this site he’s God. Most of the other sites seem to indicate that he’s some sort of former sitcom star.
On Wednesday 23rd of March 2005, 02:18 AM, Babs asked:
I’m cursed. That’s GOT to be the answer, right??
Pretty much. Did you offend a gypsy recently? Maybe some kind of ancient god? Indian burial ground?
On Sunday 20th of March 2005, 05:49 PM, Nigel asked:
Is 8 hours really the average night’s sleep recommended by the medical profession? I’m trying to get by on less.
I think it’s seven and a half these days. Margaret Thatcher used to get by on four, allegedly. But it accelerates aging! Allegedly.
And might I say I detect a hint of remote blogging on your part with this question. You have your own blog for sharing your sleep patterns!
On Friday 11th of March 2005, 02:02 AM, Babs asked:
No luck finding it so far. Any other ideas?
(I’m counting on you, dammit)
So, you’ve looked under everything and between everything? Then I guess it must be down the back of something. Or in something. Or someone, though I’ll concede this is less likely.
On Tuesday 08th of March 2005, 12:55 AM, Babs asked:
I’ve turned the apartment upside down and yet I still can’t find my missing (and very expensive—otherwise I wouldn’t bother looking for it) earring. Where in gods name is it?
Again, it’s either under something or between two things – I’m fairly sure of it.
On Saturday 05th of March 2005, 11:57 AM, D. asked:
Is it possible to write clearly about a succession of poker games so all could understand?
On Friday 04th of March 2005, 03:11 PM, lisa asked:
are you coming to julian’s birthday party on saturday?
That is certainly my intention. I’m sorry I hadn’t made it sufficiently clear.
On Thursday 03rd of March 2005, 06:54 PM, Babs asked:
Is my landlord C. Montgomery Burns in disguise??
And it’s not even a very good diguise.
On Tuesday 01st of March 2005, 09:32 AM, Jennifer asked:
Is Lisa really getting married to a clown?
I know a number of Lisas. I believe one of them may be marrying a clown.
On Monday 28th of February 2005, 06:25 PM, roberto asked:
How many countries are in Central America?
Ooh, loads.
/Goes to Google
Ok, seven.
On Sunday 27th of February 2005, 10:05 PM, dark gta lovder asked:
in the strategy guide of gta san andreas the biker jacket has a white shirt and in the game my shirt has a wolf instead to be blank! what’s wrong! please i’m desperate
Dude, I don’t know. I was just a dialogue editor.
On Wednesday 23rd of February 2005, 09:39 AM, D asked:
Whence the decline of modern civilsation?
The moment I realise that pop music is too loud, and that at least in my day there were tunes. Pretty soon, I reckon.
On Wednesday 23rd of February 2005, 09:39 AM, D asked:
When did modern civilsation begin?
In 1764, with the invention of the Spinning Jenny.
On Tuesday 22nd of February 2005, 09:32 AM, D asked:
Does the fact that your site does not figure in the top ten million popular sites together with the pretty decorations masquerading as high art in central park demonstrate the continuing decline of modern civilisation?
So, when did this proposed decline begin? When did civilisation become modern? I’m afraid I can’t answer such vague questions as you ask here.
On Monday 21st of February 2005, 01:53 AM, Babs asked:
Eating chocolate chip mint ice cream at 2 AM. Bad idea or not??
Good for you, bad for the ice cream.
On Wednesday 16th of February 2005, 11:10 AM, daragh pounch asked:
wow that was quick – never did ask anthony b4- is this also a direct line to god?
No. But if you think about it, isn’t this better?
On Wednesday 16th of February 2005, 11:07 AM, daragh pounch asked:
u gonna reply to any of the comments?
Maybe. I know, I’m really bad at replying to comments. And I hate it when people don’t reply to mine.
I’m such a hypocrite.
On Monday 14th of February 2005, 10:52 AM, D. asked:
Do the probabaly pleasing and no doubt colourful decorations now gracing Central Park amount to art as that term is used in describing, say, the Sistine Chapel?
Ah, finally, a question I can get my teeth into. Something that involves broad questions, deep answers, insight into the nature of art, truth and meaning.
The answer is – yes.
(Thanks for not saying “show your work”.)
On Monday 14th of February 2005, 12:54 AM, Babs asked:
Why are the rents in Pismo Beach so bloody expensive??
Supply and demand. And because the world conspires to keep you from what you want. It’s in Revelations, people!
On Sunday 13th of February 2005, 07:20 AM, Gerry asked:
How come the the two words Holy Shit go so well together since one reverantly describes an irreverant object?
I’m not sure that excrement is inherently irreverent, but I see what you mean. And that’s exactly why. Contrast!
On Friday 04th of February 2005, 10:12 PM, Babs asked:
Er, what’s that DAE thingie youse are on about??
It’s a sound editor thing. I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.
Or you could surf around the DigiDesign website. Go to the support pages and do a search.
On Wednesday 02nd of February 2005, 11:03 AM, Jon asked:
How many DAE Error #5000’s should you get before making a career move ?
I’d say… 27.
Have you tried disabling Multiple Users?
On Thursday 27th of January 2005, 04:35 AM, D asked:
Does a 19th Century system of electromechanical relays provide the best method for organising signalling in the 21st Century?
DART and LUAS, serving about 1,000,000 people: 3 routes, 36 stops. Not interconnected.
NYC Subway, serving about 8,000,000 people: 27 routes, 468 stops. Completely interconnected.
I can see why you wish to focus on technology.
On Wednesday 26th of January 2005, 10:15 AM, D asked:
Is it the case that the much vaunted NY public transit system is in trouble: a fire has destroyed signalling on the A and C lines causing massive problems and revealing what happens when 19th Century technology confronts the 21st century problems that the LUAS and DART handle so well?
I must admit that I wouldn’t have thought that fire was a specifically 21st century problem, but if you say so. Have the DART or the LUAS had to deal with much fire?
Anyway, I choose to focus on the fact that even with a large chunk completely taken out the subway is still better.
On Sunday 23rd of January 2005, 03:35 AM, Babs asked:
Are you disappointed that presently you’re missing out in the middle of the biggest snowstorm of the year??
Not particularly. I’ll be back on Monday.
Shit, I hope the plane can land.
On Wednesday 19th of January 2005, 06:32 AM, Babs asked:
On the other hand, do you feel overwhelmed when you suddenly have a flurry of questions to answer and does it hamper your ability to answer with clear and decisive answers??
No. I’m neither overwhelmed nor underwhelmed. I’m precisely whelmed.
On Wednesday 19th of January 2005, 05:10 AM, Nigel asked:
Can you think of a more effective alarm clock than toothache the morning after a root canal when the painkillers have worn off? [This is how I know I won’t be late for work this Saturday. Ick!]
No, that sounds like it would be effective. Might be a bit extreme for most people, though. Have you tried just banging your head on the pillow a number of times related to the hour you wish to wake?
On Monday 17th of January 2005, 06:04 PM, Nigel asked:
Do you feel neglected and unloved if days go by without a question being asked?
On Tuesday 11th of January 2005, 08:39 AM, Me or her asked:
If posting under a pseudonym is a common practice for two separate individuals using the same computer, can you tell the difference?
Do I log IPs? No. I could if I wanted, but I don’t care that much. The rule against multiple posting is – like all of the rules – supposed to function more as a warning about the kind of things that are likely to piss me off than an iron document hallowed through milennia of usage which can only be changed by a decree from a higher power.
I’m really mostly fairly chilled. Unless you push me.
On Monday 10th of January 2005, 01:40 AM, Babs asked:
I have a sneaking suspicion that the previous 2 questions, are not, in fact, legitimate. Suppose I’m right??
Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam fried eggs and spam. Now deleted. I do hope this doesn’t become too common or I’ll have to shut Ask Anthony down.
On Wednesday 05th of January 2005, 09:24 AM, Nigel asked:
Are you dreading having to work in PAL again or do you prefer it to NTSC?
That would fall into the category of SEP.
On Wednesday 05th of January 2005, 12:34 AM, Rathwel asked:
How many of your readers (one in particular) use cheap parlor tricks to so clearly violate the rules you have set forth?
Well, it’s hard to keep track of the numbers with all the pseudonyms flying about. I’d say… three. No, seven.
On Tuesday 04th of January 2005, 06:53 AM, Cecil B DeMille asked:
Has my clever use of a pseudonym hidden the fact that I’m asking a third question, seeing as no ones had the decency to post a question so I COULD ask a question without it having been third query in a row??
On Sunday 02nd of January 2005, 06:22 AM, Babs asked:
Also, who would win the following ultimate wrestling caged death match, Gumby or Edward R. Murrow??
Well, I… Oh, what the hell. Gumby.
On Sunday 02nd of January 2005, 06:17 AM, Babs asked:
Will you be neglecting your blog for silly things like visiting family and friends and working for the whole of your stay in Ireland??
Maybe a little. That was who it was originally for, you see. And I haven’t even started working yet.
On Monday 27th of December 2004, 12:58 PM, Manson asked:
Why the hell do you keep answering Babs’ questions??
On Monday 27th of December 2004, 02:42 AM, Babs asked:
Incindentally, any truth to the rumor that Nigel landed in Dublin wearing a sequined teal ball gown, 5 inch stillettos and asking several longshoremen to ‘spank him with a herring’??
On Monday 27th of December 2004, 02:38 AM, Babs asked:
You wouldn’t happen to be bringing home any single male-type friends who are fond of chubby soon-to-be toothless spinsters, would you?? (and if so don’t mention the toothless bit)
No, sorry. When I eventually return it’ll almost certainly be solo.
On Sunday 19th of December 2004, 04:11 PM, opie asked:
Is it possible your just a fake and don’t really know the answer because you aren’t as smart as you say you are?
On Sunday 19th of December 2004, 04:09 PM, opie asked:
Is it at all possible to make a wolverine a house pet?
Yes, if you don’t mind the maiming.
On Sunday 19th of December 2004, 09:39 AM, Babs asked:
What’s your view on mashed taters for breakfast??
It’s a little odd, but hey. The strangest thing I ever had for breakfast was eel.
On Wednesday 15th of December 2004, 06:14 PM, Nigel asked:
Do you mean to tell us that you haven’t seen “Before Sunrise” or “Before Sunset”?
On Wednesday 15th of December 2004, 06:12 PM, Nigel asked:
Why is the spam filtering on your comments section so bloody sensitive?
Because I was getting spam comments about 75 times a day, and it was really starting to irritate me.
On Tuesday 14th of December 2004, 10:38 PM, Babs asked:
Odds of the toothfairy gracing my doorstep before 9:30 AM tomorrow morning and fixing every one of my teeth painlessly before the dental heathens hack me to bits mercilessly??
Small, I’m afraid, but my heart goes out to you.
On Tuesday 14th of December 2004, 03:53 AM, D asked:
Do the laws of slander and defamation extend to protect the reputation of innocent kittens?
“Innocent” kittens, yes. Do you have one?
On Monday 13th of December 2004, 04:03 PM, D. asked:
Could we have your assessment of Richard Linklater?
Haven’t really followed his career. I thought Slacker was kind of boring, and I enjoyed School of Rock although apparently it’s atypical.
But thank you for making me look him up, because I now see there will be a film version of A Scanner Darkly! A reason to live!
On Sunday 12th of December 2004, 03:32 AM, Babs asked:
Will you be purchasing the ‘Scooby Doo’ Chia pet that was recently advertised on TV??
With what? There are no non-food purchases currently on my horizon, I’m afraid.
On Saturday 11th of December 2004, 08:29 AM, Nigel asked:
Now that you’re a movie star will you start buying your own drinks with all the money you’ll make from your “Dead Meat” points?
No. For many reasons.
I like when people buy me drinks.
On Friday 10th of December 2004, 02:06 PM, Nigel asked:
So when are you releasing details of this year’s In The Dark Party?
I’m assuming it’s on Saturday the 18th.
It’s out of my hands. I did hear the 18th, but no recent news. I’ll post when I hear, if I hear.
I could probably be persuaded to go for a pint anyway.
On Friday 10th of December 2004, 09:58 AM, D. asked:
We appear to be from the same planet mercury-is this possible?
I assume you’re referring to this.
And apparently it is.
On Friday 10th of December 2004, 05:30 AM, D asked:
What, if anything, has excelled the fables of Fontaine as a guide to life?
On Friday 10th of December 2004, 03:07 AM, Babs asked:
I DO have a proper question regarding the ’3 question rule’ Let us assume that, for some reason, no one has asked a question, save for one person within a certain time period. And though the person who is asking said questions may very well have allowed a suitable amount of time to elapse before making yet another inquiry, so as to allow others to ask, no one has . Would it still be an infraction of the ’3 question rule’ if, say, they asked 3 separate questions on 3 separate days?? As this would give the APPEARANCE that they have asked 3 in a row, when in reality they’ve allotted time for others to ask, but no one has availed themselves of the opportunity.
Yes. Time is not a factor in the world of Ask Anthony.
On Friday 10th of December 2004, 02:54 AM, Babs asked:
Tom or Jerry then??
(and clearly, the smart choice is Jerry)
The smart choice, maybe, but I’m a cat person.
On Wednesday 08th of December 2004, 12:57 AM, Babs asked:
I’m assuming Nigel bought you the cuddly Scooby Doo (don’t try to deny it). Are you fascinated by all cartoon animals, or are you mainly a Scooby fan??
Hanna-Barbera only, and yes that does include Tom and Jerry (old school!).
On Monday 06th of December 2004, 05:29 PM, Nigel asked:
Are you jealous of my ability to purchse a Lego set and a cuddly Scooby Doo?
Yes.
Oh! Three in a row! Warning! Warning!
On Sunday 05th of December 2004, 11:59 AM, Nigel asked:
Isn’t symmetry beautiful to behold?
On Sunday 05th of December 2004, 11:57 AM, Nigel asked:
I took care of my most important Christmas shopping today. Jealous?
Of what? Your organisational skills or your freedom to spend money on things other than food? And books.
On Sunday 05th of December 2004, 04:30 AM, Babs asked:
It was to so a question. Now, how does one explain an entire family disappearing for the better part of a decade and a half and then some of them suddenly popping up again as if nothing were amiss??
Elegantly, with footnotes.
On Saturday 04th of December 2004, 07:31 PM, Ivan asked:
Do you feel a sense of balance is being set in motion?
On Saturday 04th of December 2004, 07:29 PM, Ivan asked:
if i ask this question does nigels score drop below 50%?
On Thursday 02nd of December 2004, 10:32 PM, Babs asked:
Never heard of Kevin James?? All this time in NYC and you’ve never once watched ‘King of Queens?? I, sir, am shocked.
Now that’s not really a question, is it. Get with the program!
On Thursday 02nd of December 2004, 08:12 PM, Nigel asked:
So the William Gibson fan I know who was quite interested in the “Neuromancer” and “Alien III” (Gibson’s draft) scripts I could get him doesn’t count because he contradicts you?
Perhaps I should reclassify this as a rhetorical question so that you can stop digging?
I can now sense a seventh rule approaching…..
He doesn’t contradict me. Just as my posited snippet would be of interest to a Kilmer scholar, so the Gibson drafts would be of interest to your friend, a Gibson fan. That doesn’t make either of them literature.
On Thursday 02nd of December 2004, 02:44 PM, Nigel asked:
I feel I must break rule three (which only appears to apply to me) and refer to your descriptions of scripts as meaningless documents. Huh? Please clarify this absurd dismissal.
Don’t be silly, Nigel. All of the rules only apply to you. But I’ll let you away this time.
I didn’t mean to be dismissive, but scripts as artifacts are only of interest to those who are in some way professionally involved with them, and their transformation into films. Treating a script as a piece of art is like lauding the page of Joyce Kilmer’s “Ideas” notebook where it says:
“Idea – write charming couplet about the way that poetry, while beautiful, is probably incapable of being as beautiful as something produced by nature, eg a bush, flower, insect, bird, tree. Yeah, a tree… This could be cool! You’ve done it again, Joyce!”
Does that make sense?
On Thursday 02nd of December 2004, 10:14 AM, Babs asked:
Why does everyone make fun of me for thinking Kevin James is bloody adorable?? Is it some anti-cellulitic agenda (as he is a tad chubby) or is it that they just enjoy mocking me so??
I have no idea who Kevin James is.
On Wednesday 01st of December 2004, 11:59 PM, Babs asked:
Right, I’m a bit ahead of the game THIS time. So do you suppose you would come here while I went to Dublin instead?? I’ll gladly take your ticket and in exchange you can entertain Trash and Felix with various amusing film-making anecdotes while playing referee as they kill each other. Sounds like a great deal, right?
Why, yes, I would – oh, oh wait…
I’m sorry. I just checked my ticket and it says “non-transferable”. Too bad! Maybe next time.
On Wednesday 01st of December 2004, 03:59 PM, D. asked:
Would you please identify a film based on a script form analogous to free verse?
Well, the script form wouldn’t be analogous to anything – a script is a meaningless document until it’s been filmed. In fact, a film analogous to free verse would probably be one made without a script at all.
John Cassavettes? “Faces” maybe?
On Wednesday 01st of December 2004, 08:39 AM, D asked:
Would you agree that the laser beam torches mentioned by Nigel are indeed utterly useless because there only use is as pointers to overhead projections [including power point] that are worse than useless, encouraging as they do the death of thought?
Cat toys, I’m telling you. And thought is overrated, anyway. Kill it off!
On Wednesday 01st of December 2004, 08:35 AM, D asked:
Reading your usually excellent, if sometimes marred by informal language film reviews, I gather that you belive that film scripts [should]follow conventions as constraining, and indeed as productive of art, as those prescribing , say, a sonnet. There are many verse forms, are there many script forms including an analogue to free verse?
ps Please allow for one than one question at a time. It would make life so much easier.
On Wednesday 01st of December 2004, 08:33 AM, Babs asked:
What are the odds of my getting a 60 inch Viking double-oven stove with 6 burners and a 12 inch griddle from anyone for Christmas, given that they cost approximately $9991.87??
On Tuesday 30th of November 2004, 06:42 PM, Nigel asked:
Wouldn’t you consider those laser beam torches from Sharper Image to be pretty useless? Sure, the red dot is sort of fun to play with for about ten seconds but unless you want to make a film about SWAT teams and need that James Cameron touch they’re as muchh use as a bucket under a bull.
They’re useful for pointing at things that are too high up for a stick to reach. And they make great cat toys.
On Tuesday 30th of November 2004, 10:51 AM, D asked:
Do you not think it would be an excellent way to advance human knowledge to invite your many readers to list say a hundred objects they encounter and rate them as ‘useful’ or ‘useless’ so providing you with a sample that should be a good estimate of the ratio of useful to useless objects in the world?
No, no, no.
The sample would have to be random, not user selected.
On Monday 29th of November 2004, 10:23 PM, Ivan asked:
Why have you not reviewed ‘the incredibles’ yet?
I just didn’t think I had anything particularly interesting to say, but if you insist, I suppose I could cobble something together.
Ok, done.
On Friday 26th of November 2004, 08:21 PM, Nigel asked:
Is it environmentally unsound to make a lot of purchases from Amazon given that their packaging kills as many trees as the product?
On Friday 26th of November 2004, 08:20 PM, Nigel asked:
Do you utilise the services of Female to English translators on a regular basis? I’m looking for a recommendation, but preferably for one familiar with the English vernacular.
English vernacular of Female that is.
Just smile and nod. You can try raising your eyebrows occasionally, but that’s risky.
On Thursday 25th of November 2004, 08:25 PM, Babs asked:
The pictures were on the bookshelf under a copy of ‘Bunnicula’. Ever read it??
No. But I’m pleased to see I was right about them being under something!
On Thursday 25th of November 2004, 10:13 AM, D asked:
I recently saw an excellent 6 hour long Italian film ‘The best of youth’ It followed the lives of its protagonists from 1966 to 2003. The same actors played the main parts and I cannot say that their physical ageing was well accomplished. Could you indicate, with reference to the best examples you know, how this problem is best treated?
I’m not that up on make-up techniques, but I think the acting has a lot to do with it. Orson Welles in Citizen Kane is a famous example, but actually his transformation in Touch of Evil is much more remarkable. I think they did a pretty good job in Heimat, too.
On Wednesday 24th of November 2004, 05:40 PM, D. asked:
How many fundamental laws of physics must Nigel circumvent in the manufacture of his marmalade?
How many fundamental laws of physics are there? I suspect it would be all of them.
On Wednesday 24th of November 2004, 03:31 AM, Babs asked:
And in the spirit of my last question, is it so bad to fib slightly and then arrange for a certain letter to be mailed without a postmark to give the illusion that one has mailed it on time and then blame the US Postal Service??
Wait – did you find the photographs? Because if not then I don’t see how this would help.
And how do you do that, anyway? Is it possible?
On Wednesday 24th of November 2004, 03:29 AM, Babs asked:
Right. I told someone I mailed them a letter the other day when I actually hadn’t. And now the pictures I was meant to mail have gone missing and I can’t bloody well find them. Where the HELL are they? (And I’ve already tried St. Anthony, patron saint of lost things, but he was bloody useless)
I’m pretty sure they’re under something. Or between two things.
Does that help?
On Monday 22nd of November 2004, 01:14 PM, Nigel asked:
I have come up with the idea of inventing anti-gravity marmalade. I hope that this scientific marvel may enable people to have unspoilt breakfasts. A dropped slice of toast will be unable to fall sticky side down. Plus, if you spread it on both sides, a dropped slice will merely hover in kid air allowing it be returned to plate in a still edible condition. Do you think this invention has market potential?
So, the anti-gravity only works unless it’s over a plate? You need to rethink.
And you need to think bigger. Anti-gravity marmalade would have many useful applications! Smear it on your shoes for that floating feeling. Of course, then you have the problem of propulsion. Slather it on your pyjamas, for the most comfortable nights sleep you’ll ever have… on air!
And so forth.
On Saturday 20th of November 2004, 05:10 PM, Nigel asked:
London’s poxy winter began to kick in yesterday. I fear worse is to follow. (Actually, I know worse is to follow.) What’s winter like with you? I know I could follow your weather link but’s too scientific and insufficiently emotional. Being Irish I of course prefer describing weather in terms such as depressing, exhilarating, enrapturing, f***ing freezing, makes me feel like eating chocolate … etc.
It’ll be cold, and snow, but I have a big coat. At least it will probably be sunny, so I’ll be better off than you in that sense.
On Saturday 20th of November 2004, 05:05 PM, Nigel asked:
Can you be held legally responsible if somebody follows your advice and inflicts punishing physical violence upon somebody else? I know you’re keen to stay on in America and would no doubt be happy if it were as a guest but this is going a little too far.
I don’t believe I could be held responsible. But three hots and a cot probably wouldn’t be so bad.
On Saturday 20th of November 2004, 04:41 PM, Babs asked:
So if I, by some small chance, get incarcerated by following your advice, would you be willing to post bail and/or smuggle a cake with a file in it to Rikers??
Bail? No. You’re a flight risk.
And I don’t think I could afford a cake at the moment. How about a nail file in a banana sandwich. With Nutella!
On Friday 19th of November 2004, 02:51 PM, Babs asked:
That’s a bit much for $10, couldn’t I just give him a black eye??
You asked, I answered.
Do it!
On Thursday 18th of November 2004, 07:16 AM, Babs asked:
What does someone do when they are on the checkout line and realizes they only have $3 because someone in their abode asked someone for money when the other someone was asleep?? Does the unwitting lender have any recourse given that they have no recollection of the ‘lending’ to begin with, and hence, no money??
- Get out of line
- Return items to shelves
- Find holder of money and engage in orgy of violence the likes of which has not been seen for these many generations
- Reclaim money
- Return to shop
On Tuesday 16th of November 2004, 08:20 PM, Nigel asked:
Is “Scream 2” already quite dated because of the film history tutorial scene in which “Godfather 2” is cited as the only superior film sequel in history given that “Toy Story 2” was released years ago?
I actually prefer the first Toy Story, but I’m aware that that is contentious. Anyway, the point in Scream was that it was in fact possible for sequels to be better, and not to claim that Godfather Part II was the only example, so no.
On Tuesday 16th of November 2004, 08:16 PM, Nigel asked:
So have you failed to visit our acquaintances on the west coast because there isn’t a John Deere dealership in Broooklyn?
There probably is, but neither that or my lack of a grabber would stop me if I could afford it.
On Tuesday 16th of November 2004, 09:42 AM, D asked:
On awakening I marvel at the radio clock before celebrating the power shower, noting the excellence of an electric toothbrush, the genius of gillette’s three blade electric wet razor, the miracle of the shoe lace, the cleverness of buttons….. do you want me to go on?
On Tuesday 16th of November 2004, 03:23 AM, Nigel asked:
How do car poolers address the thorny issue of contributions towards tolls on the New Jersey Turnpike?
And it’s my pleasure to be able to supply you with soem dating tips, the effectiveness of which will now doubt be in marked contrast to that of your useful as a bucket under a bull ones to me. You should refer to your apartment as a studio BTW, purely for the purpose of implementing that mooted scheme.
I don’t know. And you’re breaking rules again…
Twenty!
On Monday 15th of November 2004, 05:34 AM, D asked:
Stimulated by Nigel’s excellent question re mother of invention, I have devoted myself to doing an inventory of ‘things’roughly rating them as to their utility. To my delight I find the vast majority useful. In many cases their ingenuity bears powerful witness to the human spirit-technical poems you might say. Has Nigel had a bad experience with things that has jaundiced his view?
Well, things can be tricky, you know.
Do you plan to share your findings with the broader thing-interacting community?
On Saturday 13th of November 2004, 04:09 PM, Nigel asked:
Don’t you think you might be getting some higher bids for your hoody on eBay if you had a better picture of it? I’d recommend getting some of those hot chicks you met in Vegas (if any of them are New York based) to model it for you. If you are going to debase yourself as a shallow marketeer you may as well be professional enough to do it properly. It’s also an opportunity for you to get a date.
Maybe. We’ll see. But alea jacta est, as they say.
Do you think “would like to come to my apartment to model for me?” is a good line? Hmmm… Maybe it is, at that.
On Saturday 13th of November 2004, 04:02 PM, Nigel asked:
Should you be allowed answer these questions with questions of your own?
Whether I should or not is of no consequence.
I am.
On Saturday 13th of November 2004, 01:56 PM, Babs asked:
Going by Nigel’s previous theorem, ought I attempt to post my picture on one of those wretched sites??
I suspect Nigel’s theorem is a result of some vague bitterness, and I wouldn’t do anything based on it if I were you.
On Saturday 13th of November 2004, 09:34 AM, Nigel asked:
If necessity is the mother of invention then what was the original purpose of those small toasters that can’t fit a standard slice?
I’ve never seen a small toaster that couldn’t fit a standard slice. Are you sure you weren’t dreaming it?
On Saturday 13th of November 2004, 09:31 AM, Nigel asked:
I’ve noticed on imdb.com (apparently it’s frequently consulted in Hollywood as a means of vetting potential dates) that it’s littered with ads for on-line dating services. What I can’t understand is why the ads feature photos of people who, if they are single and unable to get a date, must have ghastly personalities. Why is this? Why don’t they use photos of ugly dateless people instead as they’re the ones who use them?
Feeling a mite misanthropic, are we?
On Friday 12th of November 2004, 03:33 PM, Babs asked:
Which, of all the soap operas out there, is your favorite?? (and don’t try fibbing, we all know you men secretly watch them)
The first soap opera I got into was “Neighbours”, back in the eighties. My favourite soap for a long time was “Brookside”, but that got weird and I stopped watching. I haven’t got into any American soaps. They just look bad.
On Friday 12th of November 2004, 03:08 PM, D. asked:
Please explain why Nigel’s last question was’nt a question. It seems a perfectly good question to me. There are loads of things that are perfectly useless out there,
Essentially, the “question” boils down to “What is everything for? One at a time.”
I don’t think that’s reasonable to expect me to answer. Specifics!
On Thursday 11th of November 2004, 07:23 PM, Nigel asked:
If necessity is the mother of invention then what was the original purpose of so many useless things?
Not that I can think of one right now.
It looks like a question, but really, it isn’t.
Drop and give me twenty!
On Thursday 11th of November 2004, 07:56 AM, D asked:
Is the information on NY weather as inaccurate as that provided on Dublin’s? The latter is frequently wrong. For example, it would have us believe the Dublin Temperature is now (1255) -1 degree centigrade when is about 11 degrees.
Thank you for pointing that out – it seems that I accidentally set it to report the weather from Dublin, Virgnia. It should be fixed now. Ahem.
On Wednesday 10th of November 2004, 05:28 PM, Nigel asked:
So when are you going to venture across (or under) the Hudson to New Jersey so you might conduct your own Sopranos tour?
Well, I’ve been to Jersey, and, Sopranos notwithstanding, Manhattan is just more interesting. And it’s on the way.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 10:37 PM, Babs asked:
And incidentally, you DO realize if you get Nigel to send you the pic you could go mad with Photoshop and exact revenge accordingly, right??
Revenge is for the weak of mind. I’ll look into it.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 10:36 PM, Babs asked:
Where the hell was I when all this silliness was going on??
I have no idea how I could possibly know that.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 09:37 PM, Ivan asked:
This is not funny, this was never the intended use of ask anthony, and was probably the reason people stoped asking questions the last time. I know this is not a question. Nigel, please stop!
I think I’m I’m going to implement a rule about asking more than two questions in a row. In fact, consider it implemented!
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 06:12 PM, Nigel asked:
Sod it, I shall break a rule. Why did you post the missing word version of my last question?
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 06:00 PM, Nigel asked:
You know, we could start a highly uninteresting and non-entertaining game by trying to get my percentage counter to hit a specific number. I like the sound of 19.72% (unlikely for quite a while, I know) and 20.01% (which is unlikely for almost as long) but I like the look of 86.42% the most. Not for reasons of vanity but more for the beautiful array of descending even numbers. How uninterested are you?
Extremely. And I mean, extremely. I might have to branch off a seperate page, just for you.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 05:57 PM, Nigel asked:
I have perused your ad for your gift. I’m almost embarrassed to call you a friend after witnessing your debased snake oil salesmanlike efforts at marketing. (OK, you’ve been trying to shake me off for years so perhaps I should withdraw that statement.) But seriously, have you no shame?
That’s right, folks! A one time offer!
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 05:32 PM, Nigel asked:
How are the rules enforced if YOU have completely failed to understand a question?
The rules – they don’t apply to me.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 05:20 PM, Nigel asked:
What happened to that “Mirror Mirror” post I was emailed about?
Yeah. You don’t need to worry about that. It’s to do with the reading list section I’m experimenting with.
This may be the most on-topic question you have ever asked.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 05:18 PM, Nigel asked:
I sometimes see question marks at the end of sentences when I know that can’t possibly be the case. Am I mad?
Yes. That’s not why, but yes.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 05:17 PM, Nigel asked:
Does that percentage counter disappear if my share of the harrassing falls? It would be pretty absurd if it read something like “that’s a whopping 17%” because that phrase is only used by the Lib Dems.
Don’t worry – it would take a lot of questions for that to happen. If it does, well, be assured that I’ll deal with it appropriately.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 05:05 PM, Nigel asked:
Wow! That percentage counter is pretty shoot hot! You didn’t really go to that effort just for me did you?
It wasn’t hard. One of the things computers are really good at is maths.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 05:03 PM, Nigel asked:
Do you want me to send you a photo of me with my 4 day old nephew? You see I’m told that it’s a good sort of thing too keep handy (it’s stored on my phone) to fool chicks into thinking I have a sensitive side and I want to know if it passes muster.
I had previously been told that a good avenue of approach is to walk Labrador puppies in Hyde Park on Sunday afternoons as they too are apparently a babe magnet. But they grow up so quickly and I was having trouble fostering them once they reached 3 months old. The only way I could continue was to begin drowning them and needless to say an animal (well, dog at least) lover like me couldn’t contemplate that.
So I’m sure you’ll appreciate why I’m asking.
So… A photograph of you would help me because..?
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 04:58 PM, Nigel asked:
The introduction to Ask Anthony I was better than the current one. Why did you edit it down?
It was taking up too much room on the page, and it didn’t really contain much useful information.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 04:51 PM, Nigel asked:
What’s the deal with this year’s In the Dark Party?
I have no idea. If you find out, let me know.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 04:50 PM, Nigel asked:
Did Conor McMhaon seek advice from you prior to purchasing the hat we see him wearing in the Dead Meat photos?
That’s my hat. He borrowed it because he was getting sunburned, and I wasn’t wearing it.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 04:48 PM, Nigel asked:
Would you ever try to trick me into breaking some of the rules just so you could inflict more pain on me by getting me to perform some aerobic exercises?
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 04:47 PM, Nigel asked:
Why is the link to my blog so far down the list whilst my link to your’s is at the top?
It automatically puts the most recently updated blogs at the bottom. But I guess you have a point. I’ll see about changing it.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 04:46 PM, Nigel asked:
So, what was your time in the New York Marathon?
I haven’t got around to starting it yet – I’ll let you know.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 04:46 PM, Nigel asked:
How will you be better prepared for the New York winter now that you’re no longer a greenhorn?
Actually, I was pretty well prepared last year. There’s no mystery, it’s just cold. Wrap up! I won’t have to buy a new coat again, I guess.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 04:45 PM, Nigel asked:
Observing that counter I feel inspired to win the popular count for questions asked. Now I calculate I’ll have to ask at least the next 8 questions to hit 50% of the total. Am I correct?
It seems so. I’ve added a percentage counter to help you out in the future. I’m too good.
On Tuesday 09th of November 2004, 01:00 AM, Babs asked:
What’s a quick fix for (seemingly)eternal crankiness??
Have you considered heroin, at all? Although crankiness is only suspended until you run out, and then returns redoubled, it’s probably quick and is often quite literally referred to as a “fix”.
On Sunday 07th of November 2004, 05:16 PM, Nigel asked:
That counter dedicated to my questions is pretty cool. Thanks very much for putting in the effort to get it working. Was it that elusive element that delayed the Ask Anthony II release?
No. That was easy. You’re running at less than 50% – what’s wrong?
On Sunday 07th of November 2004, 05:14 PM, Nigel asked:
Could you do me a favour and provide Ivan with a survivalist’s reading list? His life is on the line.
All he really needs is “The Informer” by Liam O’Flaherty. Trust me.
On Sunday 07th of November 2004, 05:13 PM, Nigel asked:
Are you willing to publicly admit that many of your dating tips have been rubbish?
Well, I can’t really judge them until I try them myself, can I. Be fair.
On Sunday 07th of November 2004, 05:19 AM, D. asked:
My answer:
I’m not sure, but I have a feeling it might have something to do with this.
On Friday 05th of November 2004, 11:09 PM, Ivan asked:
If the C.I.A. (or some more effective black ops group) do pay me a visit what should i do?
Have your mail redirected to Gitmo, I guess. Or you could betray your revolutionary brothers and act as a double agent.
That would be kind of cool.
On Friday 05th of November 2004, 12:42 PM, D. asked:
My answer:
I just didn’t like the look of it. But I am toying with ways of bringing it back.
Please, feel free to buy books anyway.
On Friday 05th of November 2004, 06:56 AM, D asked:
How much was your now gone Amazon link worth to you?
On Thursday 04th of November 2004, 09:12 AM, Watery Joe asked:
do you know is it hard to find good IT jobs in NYC ? know any good websites ?
It’s not my area, but I can say with some degree of confidence that unless you have a concrete offer coming in it will probably take you about a year to end up somewhere good. I’ve written about why I believe this to be true here, about three paragraphs from the bottom.
As to websites, I don’t really know. You could try specific companies like Bloomberg or Thomson. You’d want to be legal. Have a look at Craigslist for some less corporate type jobs.
It’ll still take a year, though.
On Monday 01st of November 2004, 11:54 AM, Vanessa asked:
Will you make me hot whisky tonight? I’ve got this horrible cold now. (me and the rest of the office)
Agh! Diseased! Stay away from me!
On Monday 01st of November 2004, 03:52 AM, Babs asked:
So what were you for Halloween??
On Sunday 31st of October 2004, 03:41 PM, hanna asked:
what is the meaning of life?
If you don’t know, I can’t tell you. Which is pretty convenient for me.
On Friday 29th of October 2004, 08:39 PM, Ivan asked:
How can i survive on no money?
Leaves? Get a job, hippie!
On Friday 22nd of October 2004, 07:13 AM, Babs asked:
Do you suppose you could give me your ticket to Vegas while you stay here and look after this lot for me?? It’s a fair trade,and after all, I’m willing to make the sacrifice.
Well, obviously this is something I would seriously have considered if you had asked in time. Unfortunately, I was already in Vegas when you posted. Because I would have considered it, seriously. Obviously.
On Friday 22nd of October 2004, 03:33 AM, Douglas Murray asked:
so who leaked GTA SA? do tell!
Are you the Feds? You’re the Feds, aren’t you! Everybody, hide! It’s the Feds!
On Thursday 21st of October 2004, 06:30 PM, Ivan asked:
Your website is much more fun now, aren’t you glad you brought back ask anthony?
Fun for whom? I think I’m going to have to start charging.
Weren’t you having fun already?
On Thursday 21st of October 2004, 06:28 PM, Ivan asked:
Hey, thats a reference to a previous question. Oh..Damn..em em when can you answer questions about GTA san andreas? phew!..
When it’s released, which is next Wednesday, I believe. I probably still won’t spill my guts, but hey, it never hurts to ask.
On Thursday 21st of October 2004, 12:31 PM, Vanessa asked:
And since I can raise your rent…you could answer the questions I raised before. So..wasn’t your perception of the whole Daragh issue biased?
And Ivan…don’t worry about me asking multiple questions.. I had never asked any before.
My perception was clear as a bell, and as unbiased as the gentle morn.
The opinion I chose to express may be a different matter.
On Wednesday 20th of October 2004, 10:06 PM, Ivan asked:
hey, how come your flatmate can ask multiple questions?
Because she can raise my rent. Next!
On Wednesday 20th of October 2004, 03:57 PM, Vanessa asked:
So Anthony, to you I’m just a Brazen Hussy, throwing myself at your friends…. kinda makes me think of the fox and the grapes fable…what the fox couldn’t reach, it dismissed it…no worries..guess you’re immune to my tropical charms…But don’t you think your perception biased? why do I get to be the brazen hussy and your friends the innocent ones? do i see some gender discrimmination here?
Ok, now I’m in trouble. Thanks, Doug and Betch.
EDIT: Ok, Vanessa has stormed into my room and demanded that I apologise. So – when I referred to her as a “Brazen Hussy” I was of course being lighthearted. Daragh is the only one of my friends that she has thrown herself at, as far as I know, and, finally, she would like me to point out that he himself was no shrinking virgin, a fact that I cheerfully acknowledge.
I hope that’s sufficient.
On Wednesday 20th of October 2004, 03:44 PM, Babs asked:
It’s not entirely unreasonable for me to ban all others from the TV on Friday owing to the fact that Colin Firth is going to be on Oprah, is it?
You mean, nobody will be allowed to be on television on Friday except for Colin Firth and Oprah? For the whole day? Man, I’m glad I’ll be in Vegas.
And welcome back to the internet.
On Wednesday 20th of October 2004, 01:39 AM, Douglas Murray asked:
Betch wants to know, do you fancy Vanessa yourself?
I see – so you have no curiousity yourself?
Anyway, no – she’s too much of a Brazen Hussy for me. Throwing herself at my friends…
On Tuesday 19th of October 2004, 05:28 AM, D asked:
Why did I not notice that you had?
I think I’d need more information before I attempted to answer this.
Or maybe not…
On Tuesday 19th of October 2004, 05:26 AM, D asked:
Why do you not arrange things so that the last question asked is the first you encounter?
On Tuesday 19th of October 2004, 05:25 AM, D asked:
How can hugging trees help Fionn understand US Politics ? (see Darragh’s comment on your recent politics blog.)
The cold, barky embrace of a large tree has always been considered a source of clarification and indeed inspiration on the American political scene. Strange but true.
On Monday 18th of October 2004, 09:08 PM, Ivan asked:
do i get a prize for being the first to ask a question, twice!?
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – no prizes!
Now you’ve made me want to add hyperlinks to each specific question. Damn you, Ivan!
Damn you! [shakes fist]
On Monday 18th of October 2004, 07:35 PM, Anthony asked:
So, managed to get it working yet? I would have thought it was fairly straightforward.
It appears to be functioning correctly. What’s your point?
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
I'll bet you don't even look in here anymore, do you?? DO YOU?!? Eh?
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Do you reckon no one has asked you anything in the past few days is because they've no queries as of yet?? Or rather that they've not found the button yet??
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Or is it, that in fact, you don't KNOW the answer to the pharmaceutical query!?!? Eh?!? EH?
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Are you allowing questions to languish unanswered because your busy fiddling with your new page thingamabob?
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I wish to draw from the well of your pharmaceutical knowledge. Apart from not mounting the steed in the first instance what's a good cure for cycling induced muscle ache?
I’m telling you, Heroin. Or at least Opium.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
What other cool new features do you have planned for us now that you're getting upgrades to your … stuff? I'm getting jealous as I'm starting to get frustrated by the limitations of my free blog. It's clipping my wings!!
I… don’t know! I’m sure I’ll think of something.
But the Wiki is huge!
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
Chinese bubble tea may be cool, but what does it taste like? Hot tea certainly, iced tea maybe; but cool tea? It seems an unhappy compromise.
I think I may have to institute a rule about wilful misunderstandings.
On 2004-10-15, Baron von Bunster asked:
What nation’s food has most impressed you since you arrived?
Well, Baron, I’ve always had a fondness for Japanese food, and little has happened to change that. I don’t think I’ve had much here that I hadn’t had before, really. I am fairly well travelled, you know.
Oh, chinese bubble tea is cool.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
This evening I started developing a strange addiction to on-line IQ tests. Ever suffered from this yourself?
This is a transparent attempt to bolster your recently wounded ego, and will do you no good. Go to a bar and talk to strangers. That sometimes cheers me up – even if you’re not drinking at the moment. Suck it up!
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Do you have suggestions for further updating of my blog template? I'm toying with some stuff but have yet to get the hang of all the really cool stuff that you have. Hmmm … I guess this is another question you can answer elsewhere.
The main thing I have that you don’t (apart from matinee idol good looks) is my own domain and an account with a host – Purple Paw. They give me access to PHP, CGI, MySQL and all that other good stuff.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
is it pathetic to be spending a Friday evening in London in one's kitchen failing to even think of a damn question to post here?
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your frigidaire? (And honestly, I'm rather surprised Nigel never thought to ask you this question)
The number one indicator of recent elephant infestation in one’s ice box is, of course, footprints in the butter. Everybody knows that.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
My answer:
Normally I’d say no, but you probably need all the help you can get at the moment, so work away.
Not that I’m sure what a ‘do-over’ would actually involve.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Have you tried soy milk with Nesquik? It's a strange taste. And if I may be allowed a breach of the rules is it really appropriate to answer questions in such a roundabout manner? I thought this section existed so you could serve both the individual reader and your collective audience simultaneously?
Yes I have. I found it perfectly pleasant. And I’ll answer my questions any damn way and in any damn place I please!
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Circumstance recently obliged me to purchase soy milk from the stupidmarket as they were all out of semi-skimmed. Have you ever encountered this problem and, if so, have you managed to acquire the taste?
I basically answered this in a comment on your blog. If anybody else wants to avail of my wisdom in this matter, they should go to this entry on Nigel’s Blog and read the comments.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Um … so how's that sccreenplay coming along? Actually, this feels like the kind of question that should be in the comments section.
No, that’s appropriate. Screenplay, yeah, gotta get back to that.
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
Do I have enough courage to ask this question? Perhaps, Anthony, do you..you…......use…....power point?
No. No I don’t.
But it’s a good idea!
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
What do you mean 'on the side'? I suggest you stick to english.
I mean served seperately. Your suggestion about sticking to english has been filed and will be considered in due course.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Have you ever failed a supermarket taste test?
Any occasion on which it may have appeared that I failed was due entirely to faulty testing procedures.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
I need to get out more, don't I??
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Hey? Nowhere in the rules does it say YOU can ask questions!!
However, I am on a tiny losing streak, aren't I??
The rules proscribe, they do not prescribe. And yes you are.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
In other news, mint jelly and lamb, it's an abomination to mix the two, correct?!? (for the record, I am obviously ANTI-mint)
Lamb is not my favourite meat, but when I have it I appreciate a little mint sauce on the side. So no, it’s not an abomination, and you are not correct.
I must say, you’re on a bit of a losing streak, aren’t you?
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
But I was choiceless in the matter!! Is there no compassion for those who were under the evil spell of those that would buy cheaper sodas???
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Is it a major breach of etiquette to drink Pepsi from a Coca-Cola glass???
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So how about this heat? Is New York finally coming into summer?
Oh yeah. Warm. Pleasant. Sunny. I had to buy a new wardrobe – lighter clothes. It’s going to get a lot stickier, I believe.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
What's the best viable excuse for ringing out of work, other than the fact that it's a gorgeous day and I really don't want to go there??
Personally, I’d plead hangover. That always goes down well.
And it is a nice day. I think I’ll need to buy myself an airconditioner soon.
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
What is the W3C button? I pressed it and was transported to a state of even greater confusion. It appears to be some form of commendation, a cause for congratulations, perhaps. But how does it advance humanity's cause?
I hope this article will help shed some light on the matter. Basically I did it because it seemed like an interesting challenge. And boy, was it.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
What, precisely, is one's shizzle?And what does one do with it
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
They are not!!
That being said, where is my bloody brother with todays newspaper?
He’s over there.
Oh no wait. He’s gone again.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Muffin?? Or cheese danish??
Ooh. Cheese Danish.
No, wait! Muffin. Yeah, muffin.
Or did you want to know about the code? These UPCs are going to your head.
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
In the matter of web design it is obviously a case of the art that conceals art. Are you going to run a spot the difference competition?
It’s all in the code, it’s all in the code…
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
How does one avoid bursting into laughter when ones nephew insists on calling his uncle 'Sargeant No Nads', and discipline said child instead???
I'm afraid what you ask is an impossibility.
On 2004-10-15, Lisa asked:
i'm hungry, i work in midtown, and i'm on a diet. what should i eat for lunch?
Steak. With plenty of potatoes and gravy. And ice cream for desert.
I don’t believe in diets.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Just to clarify something about yoour king of the sponge title. Does this mean you were bumming beers off the VISITORS to the city? What kind of host are you?? (Second question is rhetorical and thus not a breach of the rules.)
Well, they weren’t visiting me.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Oh…..s***.....is it my fault that I'm old and feeble minded now?? Wait, do I want an answer to that??? Ah go ahead, I'll forget about it by later
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Also, what's the punch-in code for Ecuadorian Kumquats?!?
Just use the laser thingy.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
What's your view on E.T.'s and the like, do you reckon there's anyone/thing out there, and if so do you suppose they fancy M&M's as the fiends in Hollywood would have one think??
It was Reese’s Pieces, not M&Ms. M&M refused permission, sales of Reese’s Pieces went through the roof and the concept of “product placement” was born.
As you didn’t know that, I have decided to ignore the bulk of your question.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
What are the odds of my winning the lottery (and/or getting published)by 4 PM this afternoon, so that I won't have to argue tirelessly over the price of parsnips, butter beans, and giant bins of turtle wax, for far less money than I deserve???
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Wow! I'm about to ask question number 100. It makes me feel rather …. significant. Um …. Better make it a good one. OK … something about ethics or nuclear science perhaps.
Oh sod it. When are you going to …
Oh yeah! When are you and Babs going to meet up for an evening on the town? That would make for a good joint blog entry!
But wouldn’t that shatter the mystique?
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I noticed at the top of this page that 98 questions have so far been asked. Actually, I know it's a little more because you have CENSORED or DELETED some of mine. But anyway, are you considering awarding a prize to whomever asks question number 100?
No. No I’m not. Not under any circumstances.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I'm at a loss trying to discover a way of making the entries in my blog archives sort chronologically. Any ideas?
It’s probably some kind of setting.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
You know it occurs to me that if you're looking for work in a new country it's probably not agreat idea to boldly state that you're not interested in the only job you can prove yourself qualified to do. Shouldn't you edit that last blog entry? Or are you trying to shake off your sound tag in the most public way possible? Heck it took emigration for me to do so and it's not as if I really qualified for it.
I’m always careful about what I write in my blog, so this wasn’t unconsidered. I need to stop hedging, and just make a decision. Having it both ways just isn’t going to work for me.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So how soon will New York be rid of winter?
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Have you, during your dealings with New York hot dog vendors, noticed if the popular choice is to apply the mustard, ketchup or other condiment first?
My dealings have been minimal, and I certainly haven’t picked up on any discernible patterns. But I’d need to spend about three months eating hot dogs every day before I could claim to have tested a statistically signifigant sample.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Where have all my bleedin scrunchies gone?
You’ll get them back when I’m good and ready.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
If you've worked on any projects originally picture edited on Final Cut Pro what are your opinions of it?
Outputs OMFs pretty well, if not exporting any automation can be called “pretty well”. Never really had any problems other than that, and that’s not necessarily a problem. Walter Murch cut “Cold Mountain” on FCP, so I guess it can’t be that bad.
On 2004-10-15, Elaine asked:
If a complete stranger, happening upon this site by the workings of the gods and Google, asked you a question, would this scare you?
P.S. Nice gaff you've got here:)
Ah! A witch! Burn her! Burn her!
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
What's the dumbest request you've ever had at work? Actuallly, no. I think we'lll keep that one for email. Um ….........
I know it's not really an issue given that you're living in a public transport city but do you find it rather funny that your Smart car would fit inside the glove box of the average American automobile?
The Smart would be perfect for New York. And It’s not funny – it’s disturbing! Cars here are way too big – a small, fuel efficient car like the Smart would probably destroy the economy overnight.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
And if not would bribery and/or a live chicken sacrifice do the trick???
No! Don’t harm the poor chicken!
OK, I’ll bring it back, but only twice weekly – Mondays and Thursdays. Happy?
PS You can send the bribe via my paypal account – link on the blog.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Would any amount of begging and grovelling bring back ATP??
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Checked to see if any of the barbarians you summoned have been hammering at my gate?
I think my ultimate revenge would actually be to ignore your blog completely. Fear me!
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
Could you arrange to have the last question first? So avoiding the tedious business of scrolling down.
That’s a good idea. But no. This code is held together with spit and sellotape as it is, and I don’t want to go messing with it.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So you’ve had the chance to observe my first faltering steps as, like a new born foal staggering around the stable, I boldly go forth into the world of blogging. Do you feel a strange sense of paternalistic pride?
Probably not. I’ll bet it’s shame, or embarassment. But I can’t ask that as a a rhetorical question. It’s against the rules.
So far so good. Stop making excuses! And get the commenting working – that should be your absolute priority. How else will you know whether anybody’s reading? And link to me!
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
And if you intend to do as such, will you encourage others to do so?? (in the spirit of fair play, of course)
(please note I was good and didn't post both questions at once—-do I get a prize for that??)
Nuts, does asking for a prize count as a second question??
And that a third??
Forgive me, father, for I am blonde.
Well, Ok, seeing as you’re blonde and all. I don’t know if I’d encourage such behaviour, although it might be tempted to point out that it was possible, in a spirit of public education.
And no prizes.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Since Nigel now has his own little spot, will you take advantage of the moment and abuse him as mercilessly as he did you??
Why, what an underhanded suggestion! You must not think much of me!
(heh heh heh)
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Now that I have my own blog, which it seems my irritating questions and comments prevailed upon you to create, will you miss me when I'm gone?
I don’t want you to go, Nigel. I just want you to release your inner blogger, whose denied existence has been made abundantly clear by your continued irrelevant (to my blog) comments and guestbook entries. I would certainly miss you, if you chose to abandon me entirely. After all, over fifty of the questions on this page are from you. It would be less than half the length!
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
I have browsed a few other blogs and I have observed that some have recourse to lists; usually of random items under some general heading e.g. Today I did; My favorite.. I note that you do not deploy such strategems which,I think,can only be considered the desperate refuge of the uninspired.Do you agree?
Thanks for the suggestion. As it happens I’ve been feeling pretty uninspired and looking for a desperate refuge – lists might be just the ticket!
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Oh, and did that last sentence sound like a commercial for Advil? It's amazing how in the U.S.A. a commercial can so brazenly call a competitor's product garbage.
What “last sentence” would this be? Because I know you wouldn’t infringe the rules by referring to a previous question.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I have had a rather sore neck for several days now. The pain extends from roughly 4 inches behind my ear to about halfway down my back, just off of centre. Nurofen has, so far, proved as useful as a bucket under a bull. Can you recommend a good painkiller or remedy?
Morphine is good. Or heroin. Have you tried heroin?
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I have had a rather sore neck for several days now. The pain extends from roughly 4 inches behind my ear to about halfway down my back, just off of centre. Can you recommend a good painkiller or remedy? Nurofen has, so far, proved as useful as a bucket under a bull.
Oh, and did that last sentence sound like a commercial for Advil? Isn't it amazing how in the U.S.A. a commercial can so brazenly call a competitor's product garbage?
I’m going to start enforcing the “one question at a time” rule again. Please rephrase.
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
Ermmmmm how do you make sure he actually DID drop and give you twenty and if the case is that you can in fact prove the adherence or non-adherence to the above what are the repercussions of not following said 'drop and give me twenty' policy??
It’s on the honour system. And if he doesn’t do it, or lies about it, he has to then drop and give me thirty.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Do I hear the first stirrings of megalomania?
All the way from London? I doubt it.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Is it a problem if I refer you to other people's blogs so you can view the competition? I bet you're going to delete this question you dissent quashing tyrant you!
I look at other people’s blogs all the time. Refer away!
And it’s not a competition! Well, not until I’m in a position of overwhelming strength, anyway.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
You had a look at her site? Quite funny, especially the feet bit.
This isn’t supposed to be a conversation! Drop and give me twenty.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So do I have a fan or a stalker? I thought at first the words were "persistent urge to nail Nigel" and in my excitement gasped into my coffee, splattering my face with cappuccino froth. I've been trying to lick the tip of my nose ever since. So now I have TWO reasons to be jealous of dogs.
Um … I began with a question so I guess the rambling coould be considered a development of the themes queried etc. etc.
I’m afraid if you really want this “stalker” thing to work out, you’re going to have to move to Staten Island.
But why the hell not?
On 2004-10-15, Babs asked:
After having gone over the entire "Ask Anthony" section, I have a sick and yet oddly persistent urge to mail Nigel. Am I truly deranged??
On 2004-10-15, Ivan McCullough asked:
how3 does that affect your relationship with your 'new hat'?
It’s really too early to tell. A hat is like a fine wine – it comes in a bottle and if you drink enough… No, a hat is like a woman – capable of bearing children and… No, a hat is like an onion – it’s round and makes me cry when I cut it and… No, a hat is like a windmill – it stands on high ground and converts the power of the wind into a circular motion by the use of large sails. Yeah, that’s it. A windmill.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
You deleted my last question you knave!! I asked where you got the hat? How did you manage to get one that looks almost exactly like the old one? Did you track down some old stock?
I didn’t delete it deliberately – you asked it just as I was putting up the answers to your previous questions and it got overwritten. This code isn’t that sophisticated!
My parents got me the hat via my Amazon Wishlist. It’s not exactly the same – it’s a little taller and the band is lighter.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
The new hat. When do we get to see it?
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So how difficult / easy is this whole comic strip lark proving? I was toying with the idea of doing one myself. So far my concepts are only stretching as far as titles but I have come up with:
At the Petshop
Agnes the Parrot
Ask the Pedant
And that's Pretty?
Artichokes, Tomatoes, Potatoes
Hmmmmmmm …......
And That's Plenty. Enough.
So?
Well, I keep almost forgetting to do it at all and then doing it really fast at the last minute. It’s fairly easy if you have really low standards. If I really thought hard about each strip and put a lot of effort into making it all it could be, it would be really hard. And it doesn’t have to have the initials ATP. But I like “At The Petshop”. How are you at drawing animals?
On 2004-10-15, Andrew Bellware asked:
What does one premix in the dialog? Are volume level decisions made at that point? Or are you mostly just kluging the number of tracks down to something reasonable?
What kind of dynamic range is considered acceptable for dialog in a theatrical release? What kind of dynamic range is considered acceptable for dialog in a TV or video release?
I’ll step back and let someone with some dialogue mixing experience answer the dynamic range questions, but generally the dialogue premix is pretty complete – relative levels, noise reduction, EQ, reverb, compression, adr matching. The idea generally is that the dialogue track stands on its own, and the other elements are built around it. The dialogue is the foundation of the soundtrack – everything else is mixed relative to the dialogue premix, but that premix is fairly self contained. There are, of course exceptions. The degree to which decisions are made final in the premix or left to the final mix depends on the specific situation.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
This is a question regarding some clarification of a point made in the blog type question. In your current entry you state that the reason you have to be grateful to somebody is a G4. Would this, by any chance, be an Apple Mac G4? You know, one of those computers you profess to hate?
Of course, I know that in your defence [defense?] you'll cite the availability of ProTools on alternative platforms etc. etc. etc. as an excuse. Pah! You don't have me fooled! Why can't you admit that Macs are kick ass machines????
So many rules broken… So many…
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
With the passage of time since that tragic event now somewhat advanced I suppose you might be over your most recent parting meaning that it's possibly safe to enquire after the state of your love life. So, have you found a new hat yet?
Nearly. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you posted. Keep back from the edge of that seat!
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Do you ever wish you'd preserved Snow Lincoln in your icebox?
Just the other day, actually, but I don’t know if it would have survived the move.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Can you remind Ivan that it was actually ME who first asked you a sensible question? Ivan may have suggested this section but he did start the ball rolling in a silly direction. I merely … ran with it.
On 2004-10-15, Ivan McCullough asked:
since i started this whole thing i would like to express my thanks to andrew for finally asking something which draws on your expertese and ask does this now constitute proof of the sucess of 'ask anthony'? please excuse spelling i am pissed as the jameson dif started today.
I’m impressed that you came to my site at 5am after a night of drinking in Lillie’s. Free Jameson and Champagne, I believe. In answer to your question, the jury is still out. I actually think they’ve fled.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So you with the Mets or the Yankees? You gotta decide if you're gonna live in New York! if locality is anything to go by you should be a Met but that kind of thinking doesn't stop most Manchester United fans over here.
I don’t wish to be thought a carpetbagger, but as I am unclear on the precise nature of a “met” I think I shall play safe and consider myself a Yankee.
On 2004-10-15, Andrew Bellware asked:
OK, maybe I'm dense, but what is it that the music editor is doing most of the time? Setting the ins and outs of the music cues, which have been mostly premixed anyway? Couldn't the sound effects department handle that work? I mean, isn't that just a couple days work? (Other than dealing with changes from the picture department?) Maybe the music editor has some other kind of job which I don't know about.
Music Editing is a massive and complicated job. I was the de facto music editor on “The Tailor of Panama” and I really grew to appreciate how useful some specific training would have been!
The picture often, nay usually changes after the music has been recorded, so the music edior needs to conform. This is more complicated than conforming FX, because you have to know about things like key and tempo. The music editor will often have to provide a temp score during the editing process, which involves a deep knowledge of a huge library of music and the ability to know what’ll work and splice it together effectively with other bits, still taking account of things like key and tempo. Often the music editor will be asked for suggestions for specific source music cues when the Beatles song that they’ve been using proves too expensive to clear, so they need to know all about that, too. And one of the most important functions of the music editor is to be the go-between between the composer and the sound crew – they have to be able to translate freely from the obscure language of timecode to the obscure language of bars and beats and back again, to know that when the director says “that loud bang” he really means “that timp hit” and so on and so forth. Obviously, this varies depending on the relative experience of the composer, but can be crucial. Also, directors can often start asking for music where there was none spotted, and so the music editor has to run off and piece together something the right tone, length and key from all the other bits of score lying around. It’s a big job on a big movie. Sure, if the score is composed after the picture is locked and the mix is too short to really make any big decisions it’s not too bad, but it’s potentially a nightmare of recrimination and regret.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Whilst perusing this section it struck me that your regime isn't quite as repressive as it could be. I think you need some more rules. Anyway, that's just a statement so I guess I should really ask you a related question. Um …
An bhfuil cead agam mo geansaí buí a ithe? Go raibh maith agat agus slán leat.
On 2004-10-15, Andrew Bellware asked:
I thought I'd pepper the "Ask Anthony" section with editing questions, thinking this would amuse you (and me). Although I believe I may have violated one of the rules by saying so.
If a voice is getting an "effect" (say, for instance, an android is talking) will the voice likely get a premix of the fun effect, or is that usually just done in the final mix? Is dialog usually premixed anyway? Don't look at me, I'm just a dumb production sound mixer, I only know how to avoid being hit by falling C-stands.
That’s a useful skill – I wish I could… ow. Dumb C-stands.
Anyway, the answer is – it depends. Usually the effect would be decided upon before the mix, either in the cutting room or during a little stolen stage time, but the clean version would always be laid up alongside in case it needed to be reigned back in, or somebody in authority suddenly decided they hated it. But the edit room is the place for that kind of mad experimentation. Dialogue is always premixed – extensively. And I’ll give you a free ride on the rule this one time.
On 2004-10-15, Andrew Bellware asked:
Why aren't p-fx tracks just put onto the workstation with the "effects" tracks. Sure, you have to think of your dialog across the dialog/effects boundary, but wouldn't it help to spot foley better? Or maybe on big-budget pictures they just don't care because every part of every department is going to score/cut the whole movie anyway.
Yeah, you pretty much answered your own question. Even if the same person is acting as dialogue/FX editor, the premixes are probably being done separately, and it makes sense to mix the PFX with the dialogue so there won’t be holes in the track. But if you’re the only person cutting and mixing everything, then I guess you can do it whatever way makes sense to you. And you have my sympathies. But even so, PFX should probably be mixed as dialogue as they probably will share more issues with dialogue than with FX – BG noise etc. Traditionally, FX don’t need a lot of noise reduction in the mix, whereas PFX may well.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Somebody I know just today bought himself a brand new G4 Powerbook. Superdrive, 640 RAM, 80GB internal, 1 GHz processor etc. Has he made a wise or foolish purchase?
[I would, of course, prefer it if in the construction and expression of your answer you employed reason, common sense and a proper appreciation of cyber aesthetics whilst also taking it easy with the anti-Mac rabid ranting that is is creeping, tuber like, into far too many Blog and Ask Anthony entries.]
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
What's the difference between calculating and residing? [Any reference you infer to previous questions and answers is entirely coincidental.]
So, you watching Keen Eddie tonight?
The difference between calculating and residing is that they are words with completely different meanings. And Keen Eddie tonight clashes with 24, which is not repeated, so I will watch it on Sunday. No, I don’t have a video recorder.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Do you spend the day thinking of your ATP strip, write it in the evening and then post it the following morning or is it the result of a burst of morning inspiration?|
I’ve been farming it out to the comic strip elves, but they seem to have lowered the tone so I’ll have to try and wrest control away from them. And I’ve started editing questions that don’t conform to the rules again.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Why are you advising people to dress up like Big Bird? And the colour (color??) is banana, not yellow, just for your info. Tsk!
The Big Bird look is off the hook – it’s all the rage here in NYC. I’m just trying to help people stay ahead of the curve, fashion-wise.
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
We have been invited to a film premiere and afterwards to a party in 'Lillie's Bordello. I suppose there will be a large collection of starlets eager for avuncular advice. Do you think a designer 'stubble' would enhance my air of authority as an expert on the movie business? How many days growth do you recommned? Thanks
Designer stubble is less important than full tribal dress – any tribe will do, just make sure that the dress is full. You will be in Lillie’s after all. And wear yellow, lots of yellow.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Have you considered calculating your age in Martian years instead? That would put you well short of 30.
If I had to go and live on Mars to continue being under thirty, I think it would be something of a Pyrrhic victory.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I reviewed one of your earlier answers and noticed that you quite confidently and correctly predicted that the Carolina Panthers would not prevail in the Superbowl.
Any more tips or predictions??|
I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you. I actually didn’t realise the Panthers were bipedal – I was quite taken aback.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I know it's not really a question, more a request, but could you please correct my poorly constructed sentence? There's an additional are that isn't required. Thank you. Oh, and if you could delete this request from the question listing so I don't seem like an illiterate twit that'd be great too.
No… No, I don’t think I’ll be doing any of that.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
If oranges are orange why aren't bananas banana or should that yellow coloured fruit be knows as yellows? Are there any other other fruits out there which are share a nomenclature with their appearance?
P.S. You needn't restrict your response to examples from the English language. Feel free to let your answer roam.
Thanks, Nigel, but I think I’ll stick with English if that’s OK with you. Plums are plum coloured, ivory is ivory coloured, green peppers are green, red peppers are red…
Bananas are excluded because they go through a variety of colours as they ripen. They start off green, turn gradually yellow, and then become black and squishy. If you could think of something else that shared these characteristics, you could refer to it accurately as “banana coloured”. Any ideas?
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
My answer:
This basically boils down to a tragic lack of communication between the relevant departments – it’s very important to have good wireless communications, so you can keep track of how close the fire is to the gunpowder, who’s alive or dead etc. Admirable? Well, it was very careless of the father to die without having a clear plan of what to do in that circumstance, and the son should certainly have been more diligent in ascertaining the true extent of his responsibilities in the event of the prospect of almost certain death.
As a movie, I don’t think there’s enough character development. The boy’s intention at the beginning is to stand until told otherwise, and he really doesn’t shift from that position. And he’s essentially the only character. Where’s your arc? It’s too plot driven.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I know it would be kind of cheating but why don't they simply hold Punxsutawney Phil TOWARDS the sun so as to guarantee a favourable outcome? Or have I a misleading idea of the ceremony? Does the little critter poke his beady little snout out, have a bit of a wander and a gander before pronouncing on the visibility or otherwise of his shadow?
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So how big is the pet department in your local drug store? Do they stock anti-depressants for mournful hound dogs?
It’s more than sufficient.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Does your wisdom on a wide variety of topics stretch far enough to allow you to confidently prescribe medication? How are you finding life in a country with an almost boundless range of over the counter drugs? Found any rocking cold and flu remedies?
Americans will medicate anything. Anything. It’s scary even for me.
On 2004-10-15, Eleanor asked:
To resolve a marital dispute, has or hasn't Steve Buscemi been in loads and loads of films and isn't Jim a total eejit for never having heard of him and taking to almost the end of Big Fish to work out that the one playing the poet is they guy from Fargo and wouldn't it be true to say that I am in no way a film 'geek' or 'nerd' for having heard of the ubiquitous actor?
Steve Buscemi has certainly been in many, many movies, and is incredibly recognisable. There’s no geekness in being aware of his many roles.
But did you know his name?
On 2004-10-15, Helen Litton asked:
Dear Anthony
What are your Oscar predictions?
Mam
I think that’s going to take a full blog entry. Maybe later.
On 2004-10-15, David Stewart asked:
Given that God is infinite and given that the Universe is infinite….. Would you like some toast?
Well, given that, certainly. Some toast would be lovely. Particularly some infinite toast.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
This one question at a time thing is a drag. I was curous to know if you have an explanation for why I've recently developed this strange habit of overtyping. I'm actually quite alarmed at how many of my typos over the last couple of weeks have been down to an apparent over depression of the keys. It's making me look like an imbecile.
There's no question mark in that paragraph so I'd better formally pose a question. Have you an an answer to the above ramblings?
Repressed agression. Remember, your keyboard has done nothing to hurt you.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
And why is that most dogs are so much cooler than most cats? I've never seen a cat smile. Dogs, however, do. You can also train them to perform useful services, such as fetching sticks that you're actually trying to get rid of. I could go on but why did I bother asking you that? I know your reply will display the same degree of prejudice as your position on the whole PC vs. Mac question.
Oh well, I'll pose the question anyway.
Dogs don’t smile, they gape. Cats don’t gape. Basically, cats are open to more interesting anthropomorphisation than dogs. Dogs are very limited.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So now that Dublin is poised to be awash with agency represented post people are you going to expedite your quest to be represented over there? Basically I'm asking for an update on your job hunting. I know from experience (of London) that the crappiest thing about your first 6 to 12 months in a new city is being oblivious to alll the potential avenues of job hunting etc. Update please?
I’m getting by on shorts and promises, as well as a mysterious zen-like calm.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I've heard of ant farms but I'm afraid I've no idea what the Antish for "get orf my land!!" is. Can you enlighten me?
I think you have to enlighten yourself – something about sitting under a tree. I don’t know how that’ll help you speak “Antish” though.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
When will you accept that your PC laptop is never going to be as cool as my Powerbook?
I’ll accept it right now. “Cool” isn’t really what I look for in a computer.
On 2004-10-15, Doug asked:
How can you hate Macintoshes after reading something like this?
That’s like saying it makes sense to vote for Kucinich because he’ll never get elected, or that it’s OK to drive an SUV because it’s only dangerous for everybody else on the road. 3% of the market can’t be wrong?
And it’s not hatred, just vague antipathy.
On 2004-10-15, Doug asked:
How do you know the answers to all these questions?
I don’t know the answer to that question.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Have you had one of those humungous pastrami sandwiches that New York is famous for?
On more than one occasion. In Katz’s Deli.
On 2004-10-15, Lisa asked:
I'm a lazy journalist. Should I rely on your blog as my sole source of information? I've already stolen your tip on the "fontifier" site.
Yes. Yes you should. I hope to see news of my lost hat on the front page of the next Post.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I'm confused about rules 4 and 5. How would you respond to a query about some new gossip from this side of the pond? [Statement clarifying question follows.]
It could, after all, be interpreted as chat. But if the person bringing up the subject is asking you if you've heard …
You see! The legislator in you would want to crush this flagrant breach of the rules with the utmost severity but the giggling teenager in you would respond like a dog panting for a biscuit!
Think about THAT and I'll come back later!
Comments section. Guestbook. Email.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Have you forgotten that our battle of the giants, (the Gripper Stebson vs. Tom Ripley as greatest villain to be brought to the screen by Anthony Minghella,) remains unresolved in the Cold Mountain review section?
I haven’t read the books, so I bowed out. But Gripper Stebson was pretty goddamn mean.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Is Mahattan really full of cinemas with matinee screenings of depressing documentaries about the holocaust and the French resistance? If this is true, are all the patrons slovenly attired schlemiehls like Alvy Singer?
It’s the way Marshall McLuhan keeps jumping out from behind cardboard displays that really bugs me.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
48 kHz is a nice sample rate. Who in heaven's name thought of 44.1 kHz? It doesn't even pulll down well. 47,952Hz sound like a cool number. 44,056Hz (well, we all know it's really 44,055.9Hz) is uncool. It's ugly.
Why Anthony?
44.1kHz was chosen to fit a digital audio signal onto video tape, in the area used to store the picture. Video was the digital audio storage medium before we had CD, and the rate of 44.1 is a logical result of that and the need for a safe rate that could include up to 20kHz, which was considered to be the human threshold of hearing back then. The first rate that simply worked (and was interchangeable with video, since CD-mastering was done on video) was 44.1 The 44100 Hertz comes from the calculation using video-frames, where you can have 3 samples per field of 490/2 lines; 3 × 245 × 60 Hz = 44100 Hz. (from here).
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Why do radio waves keep travelling out into space where they're sure to be picked up by non-licence holding aliens who are sufficiently advanced to be able to unscramble the signal and watch satellite TV for free? Why isn't there a broadcast limit imposed upon them?
I’m sure they’re working on it.
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
I must be very stupid but I do not understand your answer. Surely waves could approach the shore, theoritically at any angle. Just as some could approach you face to face, from behind or just sidel up to at an angle?
I’m going to ignore your breach of rules 2 and 3 – this time.
Waves come from far off in the Ocean. If they are not fairly precisely aimed, they will not hit the shore at all. There is some variation in angle, as can be seen by looking down the beach and observing that the waves do not break on the shore simultaneously all the way along. And I fail to see how waves could approach from behind the shore. But maybe that’s just me.
Subject closed!
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
Why do waves always approach the shore straight on?
Because that’s what “approach” means. You might as well ask “Why do the waves that are not approaching the shore never reach it?” to which the answer would be “Because they are going in the other direction.”
I hope that’s clear.
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
Walking down streets and accross roads I could not fail to notice that the vast majority of man hole covers are circular rather than rectangular. Why is this?
It’s easier to make a round hole than a square hole. Get a piece of paper and a pin and try it yourself!
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Well, despite being against your better judgement, I think this new section has been an unparalleled success. Wouldn't you agree?
My jury is still out, and my jury is the only one I trust not to lead me astray. They’re good people.
On 2004-10-15, Ivan McCullough asked:
My question is this,
Despite the fact that you encourage comments to your blog which i am sure you accept in any form, and discourage innane questions in your "ask Anthony" section of your site, why, in your opinion, do you think people are more likeley to stretch their witty fingers here?
There’s nothing more inspiring than an obstacle.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
OK then, why do good things happen to bad people?
You know, like why do the biggest dickheads have the best jobs? Why to the worst arseholes get (but don't lose sufficiently often for my liking) the best girls? Why do the most abonimable weasels always get your parking space?
I could go on … believe it or not.
I think I pretty much covered that in the previous answer.
On 2004-10-15, Crack Jackson asked:
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hey, that’s just the way it goes, I guess. I mean, y’know? It’s just like, well, that’s it, y’know? Life, man. Sucks, right?
Alternatively, maybe there are no good people. Did you ever think of that?
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I'd certainly love to see the recipes section illustrated. If you were stuck couldn't you just use pictures scanned in from airline safety leaflets, homeland security website guides, Jack and Jill books, Garfield and "The Illustrated Peig Sayers Domestic Goddess" line of lifestyle tomes?
I think some pictures from rotten.com would be more appropriate.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
If you haven't seen "American Splendor" why haven't you? [Statement related to question follows.]
You see, it is about a guy who made a comic / graphic novel from the minutiae of his own life. Nothing was too ordinary to be included in it. Given that you're offering people the ability to read this blog in your own drunken spider staggering across a page scrawl to all but us sensible Mac users a combined text-visual angle seems a logical extension.
I am familiar with the work of Harvey Pekar. I haven’t seen the movie because it isn’t showing over here anymore. And comics are too hard.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I've forgotten what my illegal second question was. A new one did occur to me when I read your review of "Cold Mountain" last night. Do you know where Grange Hill is supposed to be set? [Statement related to question follows.]
There is a Grange Hill in London. It's on the Hainault loop at the eastern end of the Central (the red one) Line. However, it's produced by Mersey TV and the new series is, I think, being shot in Manchester. See, if I remember correctly, there were many London references in classic episodes from the 80s. For instance, when "Zammo chased the dragon and got a smack on the nose" he claimed to have spent a fortune on tube fares whilst trying to buy a motorcycle. I remember another one where two scallywags were nabbed trying to vault the ticket barriers in a tube station. And who can forget the hard time that pooor Ziggy Greaves got (You wot! You wot!) for being a Scouser in the midst of Southern softies. I coould probably cite additional evidence but I guess I'd only end up definitively answering my own question. As a matter of fact, I have.
OK, this is the question. Does this Northwards shift up the M1, M6, hated M6 Toll, M62 and M60 represent a selling out for "Grange Hill" or is it just a Dallas style attempt to hoodwink us?
(from a Grange Hill website) Production has moved from the BBC’s Elstree studios (home of Grange Hill since 1985) to Mersey TV’s headquarters in Childwall, Liverpool. Mersey TV was formed by Phil Redmond in 1982 and produces Channel 4’s successful soaps Brookside and Hollyoaks. The new school will no longer be set in North London but Phil Redmond anxiously points out the series will not “go Scouse”. The new location will not be specified, giving the impression the school could be anywhere in Britain, he points out.
So it represents a selling out.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So is it March when YOU get to see the new series of "The Sopranos" whilst WE must wait until probably the end of the year?
Yes I believe so.
(Question edited to remove illegal second question that was also an illegal reference to an earlier question. Get with the program, Nigel!)
On 2004-10-15, Daragh Pounch asked:
will you ever direct again & is there a screenplay in you?
Directing is too hard. I’m thinking about writing a screenplay about an Irish guy who moves to New York to try and become a sound editor, but the story doesn’t really go anywhere for a very long time. All I know is that the climax will involve the traumatic loss of a beloved hat.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I can manage a question that combines both film trivia, I mean history, and politics. i.e. No mention of sex or other silliness. It occurred to me last night when I was watching the news reports from Iowa.
Is John Kerry a former actor? The guy in "Raising Arizona" (dir: Joel Coen, pr: Ethan Coen, wr: Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, 1987) who tells Polack jokes looks just like him. So, my double barrelled question is: Is JOhn Kerry a former actor and, if he is, did he play that role?
No and no. When actor Sam McMurray was only ten years old Kerry was already in Yale dating JFK’s half sister (Janet Auchincloss), thereby minimizing the likelihood of them being the same person.
On 2004-10-15, D. asked:
is My answer: I'm thinking about it. Come back later. a programmed answer and therefore a lie?
I will answer this question, but it requires some thought. Perhaps if you were to revisit this page at a later stage I might have come up with something, or perhaps not.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Seen "American Splendor" yet?
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
This feels like Jeopardy. Can you actually disregard my last question as I've just re-read the non-statement clause. I'm afraid that now makes it a statement wihout a question.
So, um, you tipping the Panthers for the Superbowl?|
I’ve deleted your last “question” entirely. I’ve decided to be more capricious. As regards the Panthers, I feel that although a team of jungle cats may have the edge over a human team in terms of speed and agility, they lack the finely honed tactical sense so important to the game of American Football, and are therefore doomed to languish in obscurity.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
If you had nice shiny G4 Powerbook like the one I'm typing this on would you still stick to your anti-Mac stance?
I’m not anti-Mac, I’m… Oh, no. Wait. I am anti-Mac. And no.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
Can you refresh my memory – what's a Mac Error 87 again?
That’s the error Apple made in 1987 when they introduced the Mac II. They should have just given up and gone home.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
So, do you have voting rights?
How about this Howard Dean? Or will George only be ousted by Wesley Clark?
I can’t vote. Bush will probably win if the economy improves.
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I’m hungry. What would you recommend?
On 2004-10-15, Nigel asked:
I'd like to know if this going to be anything like those 'Ask a …' sections on the Onion. You know, no matter what the question is you could just rabbit on about sound editing for a while, thus making us better informed about your craft. Example:
Q: "I'm beginning to develop a strange obsession with women in uniform. Now this doesn't mean that I've started fantasising about female rozzers but rather that I can't stop thinking about that cute chick who makes my morning coffee in Costa, the barmaid in the local yuppie bar (not pub) that I sometimes visit to partake of proletarian activities like watching football and that cashier in HMV who last week asked me if she should go see "Lost in Translation because I was buying the soundtrack CD. Am I a sick puppy or just desperately lonely?"
A: "Some people think I'm a smart guy, perhaps because I have a Smart car and many other fiendishly clever, smart but otherwise thoroughly useless gadgets. Imagine my delight a few years ago when ProTools introduced a Smart Tool to their updated version 4 software. What was once a selection of functions accessible through a conga line of Esc key flicks was now subsumed into one all encompassing function. I was no less gleeful when the promise of these capabilities was enhanced in future updates, allowing me to scrub while trimming and even save session copies in different sample rates. I eagerly anticipate further developments, which some day may even reach nirvana when the Pizarro's gold of film and sound editors, the legendary "just f***ing do it" button is finally available on our systems.
I’m sorry. I tried, but I utterly failed to discern any kind of question amongst your ramblings. In the future, this kind of non-question-asking will not be tolerated on this page. Drop and give me twenty.
On 2004-10-15, Ivan McCullough asked:
I contemplate suicide on a regular basis, am uncommonly ugly and have an incredibly small penis. Even my mother hates me, the only sexual relationship i have ever had was with my overweight aunt. I just want to be happy and stop abusing animals, what should I do?
Of course, and I want to emphasise here that I’m not a professional, the temptation is to try and make you feel temporarily better by suggesting some kind of quick fix, some hope for a possible improvement in the quality of your life. But based on the information here, I feel that I would be remiss to so do. It’s clear to me that, in fact, suicide is your best, and indeed only, option. At last your terrible, terrible suffering will be over, and none of the rest of us will have to look at you any more.
